I've obviously accrued a great deal of bad karma in this life, or any previous lives I might have lived through, dependent upon one's beliefs. The latest kick in the proverbials is that after tests at our local general hospital earlier today, my wife seems to have a condition which might require an operation. As if the work, financial, in-laws health, my health, marital stresses and strains, blah, blah, etc, etc, wasn't enough to be going on with. There are days when I feel like running away and joining the circus, and this is one of them.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Tuesday 29 June 2010
If there's one thing worse than getting up at 4AM...
...it's getting up at 4AM because of a rostering error. I'd been asked last week to work an overtime early shift today on what should have been the last day of my long weekend, so I not only got up early this morning, but built my day yesterday on the basis of having to go to bed early last night, only to get into work to find one of my colleagues already there. As it transpired, the roster clerk had forgotten to tell me that my services were no longer required, and I will get paid for the day, even though all I did was drive to work, turn around and drive home again, but I'm not so desperate for money that I would've done any such thing voluntarily. There were two beneficial side effects, though, if I'm thinking along the lines of silver linings - I came up for an idea for another little story for the other blog, and I saw something which gave me an idea for accommodation when I move to my new job, namely a camper van for sale. After a little online research - OK, 5 minutes on Ebay! - I worked out that if I stay in my new job for more than about 18 months, a reasonably cheap camper van will more than pay for itself as against more conventional accommodation, not least because I can sell it again at the end of its useful, to me, life.
Another silver lining was that my unexpected morning at leisure allowed me to watch a two-part Hay festival session programme with Stephen Fry. On a list of those I'd like to spend a sunny afternoon in a beer garden in conversation with, he is the undisputed Number One - he comes over as the most interesting, erudite and humane person I can think of.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Another silver lining was that my unexpected morning at leisure allowed me to watch a two-part Hay festival session programme with Stephen Fry. On a list of those I'd like to spend a sunny afternoon in a beer garden in conversation with, he is the undisputed Number One - he comes over as the most interesting, erudite and humane person I can think of.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sunday 27 June 2010
The muse and Muse
An interesting evening into the early hours of this morning. I spent something like 6 hours, from initial idea coming into my mind to clicking the 'Publish Post' button, on a story for "Nephelokokkygia", which I have to admit was very dark, perhaps reflecting my mood of yesterday morning, but which I'm still pretty pleased with as a piece of work. I recently saw a programme recorded at last month's Hay literary festival where the Nobel laureate Nadine Gordimer was interviewed, in which she described her experience of the ideas for short stories coming fully formed into her mind, and while she's obviously an infinitely better writer than I am, the story I wrote last night came to me in that sort of way, at least in terms of plot, just leaving me the task of hanging some characterisation and dialogue onto the ready-made scaffolding in my head.
During the course of my keyboard tapping, I watched the BBC coverage of the headline gig by Muse at the Glastonbury festival. I'm not a follower of the current music scene, and haven't been since the early 1990's - the most recent CD in my car is 'Nevermind', from 1991 - so apart from the odd track I've heard on Planet Rock, I didn't know very much about Muse. Rowan of 'Daily Doings' is a major enthusiast, though, so I decided to use last night as an opportunity to get more of an idea about them, and I was suitably impressed. I don't think I'll be rushing out today to buy up their entire back catalogue, but it was a pretty good gig, and many of their songs were well within the boundaries of my taste in music - they're certainly a proper rock band, and the encore with The Edge did nothing to detract from the good impression, either, especially given my long-standing as a U2 fan.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
During the course of my keyboard tapping, I watched the BBC coverage of the headline gig by Muse at the Glastonbury festival. I'm not a follower of the current music scene, and haven't been since the early 1990's - the most recent CD in my car is 'Nevermind', from 1991 - so apart from the odd track I've heard on Planet Rock, I didn't know very much about Muse. Rowan of 'Daily Doings' is a major enthusiast, though, so I decided to use last night as an opportunity to get more of an idea about them, and I was suitably impressed. I don't think I'll be rushing out today to buy up their entire back catalogue, but it was a pretty good gig, and many of their songs were well within the boundaries of my taste in music - they're certainly a proper rock band, and the encore with The Edge did nothing to detract from the good impression, either, especially given my long-standing as a U2 fan.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Saturday 26 June 2010
Off to the big city
Of all the times I would've expected to hear about the outcome of a job interview, Saturday afternoon would've been pretty low on the list. That's what has happened, though, as I've just had a call from the manager who interviewed me a few weeks ago, offering me the job. Needless to say, I've accepted, even though it will mean being away from home for something like two-thirds of my life for the foreseeable future, partly because it will involve a big pay rise, but mostly because it will get me away from the torture chamber that is my present job. I'll be working in Greater London, but not too centrally, which will make access, and hopefully affordable accommodation, less than insurmountable problems. Exactly when I'll be moving is yet to be decided, but shouldn't be more than a couple of months hence. It's nice to get a bit of good news, for once!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Not one of the good guys
In the light of recent problems that some of the younger bloggers have been having, most notably JJ and DJ, and the fact that I'm the sort of person their parents would warn them to stay away from, I've decided I'm not going to comment on any of the younger people's blogs for the moment, unless they're actively looking for an older person's advice, and I feel I can make a contribution that might make a difference. I think most of the problem, if there is one, is in my head, but I don't feel, with one notable exception, as though I'm very welcome. It makes me sad, but I'd rather it was me that was upset than someone else who might find something I'd written to be hurtful. I'm still going to read the blogs that I have been up to now, and I'm still going to carry on with mine, but that will be the extent of my involvement for a while.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Friday 25 June 2010
Taking stock
I started this blog 4 months ago, and, given that I haven't got any particularly newsworthy things to say about what's happening now, I thought I'd have a more general meander through where I am in my life, and why.
As well as the third of a year anniversary for the blog, it's around about a year (although I couldn't quote the exact date) since I found the website that started me on the road to where I am now, typing this post. The website did pretty much 'what it says on the tin' - it's a collection of stories about boys having sex, either with adults or each other. I've only read those in the section described as 'Consensual', because I don't like stories where the boys get hurt - I know it's all fiction, but I don't even like the idea of fictional characters suffering, and in any case, I don't find pain, either giving or receiving, the slightest bit erotic.
The upshot of reading the stories was that I came to understand and accept, after many years of repression and confliction, what my sexual orientation really was, namely that I'm bisexual, but with the same sex element restricted to boys around puberty - the chronological age would obviously vary according to the individual, but would be very unlikely to be younger than about 11, or older than about 16. That's not to say I don't find some younger boys attractive to look at - some are absolutely beautiful - but I don't see them as sexual at that younger stage. I'm well aware that in making an honest admission of my sexual predilections, I'm laying myself open to being accused of being that most hated figure of kneejerk tabloid demagoguery, the 'paedophile', even though the use of that word in that context is proof only of the illiteracy of the user, in my opinion - the Greek root 'philos' means 'dear' or 'beloved', in the same sense that a bibliophile is a 'lover' of books, the proper word for someone who is sexually attracted to boys being 'paederast', the root in that case being 'erastes', 'sexual love'. However, the etymology is, largely, an irrelevance, because whatever anyone might choose to call me, it doesn't change the realities of the situation - for all my years of seeing boys I've found attractive, which go back to the time when I was a boy myself, I've never had sex with a boy, and I have no expectation of that situation changing. I'm overweight, and wouldn't be physically attractive even if I wasn't, my only other significant advantage being my intelligence, which isn't, in my experience, a factor that leads anyone, male or female, young or old, to rush towards the bedroom.
I have had a very close emotional relationship with a boy, though, with my cousin and still closest friend. Even though there was never any possibility of a sexual element ever developing - it was obvious from when he was very young, 10 or 11, that he was going to be 100% straight - the connection that I had with him was the most important in the first part of my adult life. I was, without any doubt, deeply in love with him for a long time, something like 5 or 6 years, and even when he was coming to the end of his school career, when, in all honesty, any sexual attraction I'd had for him had gone - puberty wasn't kind to him, he went from being a very good looking boy to a not very good looking young man, as he would admit himself - there was still was a serious chance that he was going to leave home and come and live with me, before he did finally grow away from me around the age of 17, when he started his first full time job. We then went through a fairly rocky phase for the next three or four years, even getting to the stage of not speaking to each other for some months, but we came through that, and are still, as I said, best friends, even though we now live several hundred miles apart and don't get to meet up too often.
One side effect of the interlude in the close friendship with my cousin was that I met my wife during that time. I'd had a few more or less unsuccessful relationships with women through my late teens and twenties, unsuccessful in most cases because of me - either I couldn't commit because I didn't have the self-confidence to believe that anyone could 'love me back', or because my heart wasn't sufficiently into the potential relationship because I knew I was in love with someone else, namely my cousin, but when I met my wife, even the first weekend we were going out together, I felt that there was something different about her, something that made it worth making whatever extra effort was necessary to make her 'the one'. In fact, I almost blew my chances with her by being too eager, she actually told me that she was going to finish our relationship because I was putting too much pressure on her - I was so upset I couldn't speak for nearly an hour - but I regrouped, toned down my enthusiasm to more manageable levels, and, some months later, had got to the stage with her where I felt the time was right to ask her to marry me, and, to my great good fortune, she said yes. We've been married now for more than 17 years, and while I would be lying f I said that we'd never had a cross word, the great majority of it has been pretty happy. For much of the time we've been together, I've managed to suppress my attraction to boys, to the extent that I'm sure that my wife has no idea about that side of my personality. It's just as well, because she subscribes to the general public loathing of 'paedophiles', perhaps with slightly more justification than some, because, as a psychiatric nurse, she has had some professional dealings with convicted child sex offenders, and to say that those dealings have left her with negative views on the subject is a considerable understatement. There's little doubt that if she happened on this, and some other of my blog posts, the divorce lawyers would soon be finding some business coming their way. I really find it hard to have to live with the level of deception that I'm obliged to use - I really do love my wife, and I've had no inclination to be unfaithful to her, but knowing I've got to hide my true self from her on a daily and ongoing basis is a major source of frustration in my life.
Another frustration at present is my being trapped in a job which I fervently dislike. I've written about this at length in other posts recently, so I'm not going to retrace too many of my steps over that ground, but one thing I have promised myself is that I'm not going to be doing this same job by the end of this year. Hopefully, with current applications, or failing that, a chance which may well arise in coming weeks to return to my last place of work, I'll manage to deal with the problem by moving internally within my company, but if, for whatever reason, none of that comes to fruition, I'll take early retirement, which I'm now old enough to do under the terms of my occupational pension scheme, and find some other way of making a living. I'd like to have a go, even if it's only for a year or two, at trying to make some money from writing, even though I know it's an extremely precarious occupation. I do feel I've got some degree of ability in writing, and feel that some of the stuff I've written for my other blog has been of quite a good standard, but there's a big difference, I know, between writing for fun in a blog and attempting to produce enough, of a high enough quality, to provide an income.
There's only one significant compensation, in my eyes, for my imprisonment in my current job, and that is in the shape of someone who lives close to where I work, and I see on a reasonably regular basis (except when I'm on nights). That person, as I've mentioned a few times before in this blog, is a boy of around 13, who is, as far as I'm concerned, and with one exception nearly 30 years ago, the most attractive person I've ever seen in my life. What I'm going to say next will probably sound ludicrous, given that I've never even spoken to him, and know very little about him, but I think I'm probably in love with him - I've used the word 'infatuation' before, but that word seems to me to have implications of insincerity and transience which don't reflect the way I perceive my feelings for him. I've been watching him passing my workplace for almost 4 years now, and watched him grow from a pretty little boy into someone now on the cusp of puberty who is just quite stunningly attractive. I almost said 'beautiful', but I don't want to give the impression that he's in any way 'girlish' looking - the acceptable male equivalent 'handsome' just doesn't do him justice, he's so far above the run of the mill, to my eyes, at least, but I can't think of a word you can use to describe a boy which would do him that justice. I'll stick at 'stunning', that's the best I can do. For all my hyperbolic language, I haven't lost my grip on reality - I know there's no chance of my ever getting anywhere near him, but if I had a genie's lamp and one wish from it, he would be that wish.
I started by saying that there wasn't any news today, but something has happened during the time I've been writing this post, although, sadly, I can't say too much about it, because if I did, it would be an absolute dead giveaway to my real identity. 'My' sports team won a vital match today against their biggest rivals, but, much I would love to shout about it from the cyberspace equivalent of the rooftops, the fact that it's not a UK team and not a UK sport, and I am, to my knowledge, the only fanatical supporter of that team anywhere in this part of the world - in fact, the only supporter of any stamp of that team around here - would just be too much information to give out, so I'll have to just have to say how delighted I am, and leave it at that.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
As well as the third of a year anniversary for the blog, it's around about a year (although I couldn't quote the exact date) since I found the website that started me on the road to where I am now, typing this post. The website did pretty much 'what it says on the tin' - it's a collection of stories about boys having sex, either with adults or each other. I've only read those in the section described as 'Consensual', because I don't like stories where the boys get hurt - I know it's all fiction, but I don't even like the idea of fictional characters suffering, and in any case, I don't find pain, either giving or receiving, the slightest bit erotic.
The upshot of reading the stories was that I came to understand and accept, after many years of repression and confliction, what my sexual orientation really was, namely that I'm bisexual, but with the same sex element restricted to boys around puberty - the chronological age would obviously vary according to the individual, but would be very unlikely to be younger than about 11, or older than about 16. That's not to say I don't find some younger boys attractive to look at - some are absolutely beautiful - but I don't see them as sexual at that younger stage. I'm well aware that in making an honest admission of my sexual predilections, I'm laying myself open to being accused of being that most hated figure of kneejerk tabloid demagoguery, the 'paedophile', even though the use of that word in that context is proof only of the illiteracy of the user, in my opinion - the Greek root 'philos' means 'dear' or 'beloved', in the same sense that a bibliophile is a 'lover' of books, the proper word for someone who is sexually attracted to boys being 'paederast', the root in that case being 'erastes', 'sexual love'. However, the etymology is, largely, an irrelevance, because whatever anyone might choose to call me, it doesn't change the realities of the situation - for all my years of seeing boys I've found attractive, which go back to the time when I was a boy myself, I've never had sex with a boy, and I have no expectation of that situation changing. I'm overweight, and wouldn't be physically attractive even if I wasn't, my only other significant advantage being my intelligence, which isn't, in my experience, a factor that leads anyone, male or female, young or old, to rush towards the bedroom.
I have had a very close emotional relationship with a boy, though, with my cousin and still closest friend. Even though there was never any possibility of a sexual element ever developing - it was obvious from when he was very young, 10 or 11, that he was going to be 100% straight - the connection that I had with him was the most important in the first part of my adult life. I was, without any doubt, deeply in love with him for a long time, something like 5 or 6 years, and even when he was coming to the end of his school career, when, in all honesty, any sexual attraction I'd had for him had gone - puberty wasn't kind to him, he went from being a very good looking boy to a not very good looking young man, as he would admit himself - there was still was a serious chance that he was going to leave home and come and live with me, before he did finally grow away from me around the age of 17, when he started his first full time job. We then went through a fairly rocky phase for the next three or four years, even getting to the stage of not speaking to each other for some months, but we came through that, and are still, as I said, best friends, even though we now live several hundred miles apart and don't get to meet up too often.
One side effect of the interlude in the close friendship with my cousin was that I met my wife during that time. I'd had a few more or less unsuccessful relationships with women through my late teens and twenties, unsuccessful in most cases because of me - either I couldn't commit because I didn't have the self-confidence to believe that anyone could 'love me back', or because my heart wasn't sufficiently into the potential relationship because I knew I was in love with someone else, namely my cousin, but when I met my wife, even the first weekend we were going out together, I felt that there was something different about her, something that made it worth making whatever extra effort was necessary to make her 'the one'. In fact, I almost blew my chances with her by being too eager, she actually told me that she was going to finish our relationship because I was putting too much pressure on her - I was so upset I couldn't speak for nearly an hour - but I regrouped, toned down my enthusiasm to more manageable levels, and, some months later, had got to the stage with her where I felt the time was right to ask her to marry me, and, to my great good fortune, she said yes. We've been married now for more than 17 years, and while I would be lying f I said that we'd never had a cross word, the great majority of it has been pretty happy. For much of the time we've been together, I've managed to suppress my attraction to boys, to the extent that I'm sure that my wife has no idea about that side of my personality. It's just as well, because she subscribes to the general public loathing of 'paedophiles', perhaps with slightly more justification than some, because, as a psychiatric nurse, she has had some professional dealings with convicted child sex offenders, and to say that those dealings have left her with negative views on the subject is a considerable understatement. There's little doubt that if she happened on this, and some other of my blog posts, the divorce lawyers would soon be finding some business coming their way. I really find it hard to have to live with the level of deception that I'm obliged to use - I really do love my wife, and I've had no inclination to be unfaithful to her, but knowing I've got to hide my true self from her on a daily and ongoing basis is a major source of frustration in my life.
Another frustration at present is my being trapped in a job which I fervently dislike. I've written about this at length in other posts recently, so I'm not going to retrace too many of my steps over that ground, but one thing I have promised myself is that I'm not going to be doing this same job by the end of this year. Hopefully, with current applications, or failing that, a chance which may well arise in coming weeks to return to my last place of work, I'll manage to deal with the problem by moving internally within my company, but if, for whatever reason, none of that comes to fruition, I'll take early retirement, which I'm now old enough to do under the terms of my occupational pension scheme, and find some other way of making a living. I'd like to have a go, even if it's only for a year or two, at trying to make some money from writing, even though I know it's an extremely precarious occupation. I do feel I've got some degree of ability in writing, and feel that some of the stuff I've written for my other blog has been of quite a good standard, but there's a big difference, I know, between writing for fun in a blog and attempting to produce enough, of a high enough quality, to provide an income.
There's only one significant compensation, in my eyes, for my imprisonment in my current job, and that is in the shape of someone who lives close to where I work, and I see on a reasonably regular basis (except when I'm on nights). That person, as I've mentioned a few times before in this blog, is a boy of around 13, who is, as far as I'm concerned, and with one exception nearly 30 years ago, the most attractive person I've ever seen in my life. What I'm going to say next will probably sound ludicrous, given that I've never even spoken to him, and know very little about him, but I think I'm probably in love with him - I've used the word 'infatuation' before, but that word seems to me to have implications of insincerity and transience which don't reflect the way I perceive my feelings for him. I've been watching him passing my workplace for almost 4 years now, and watched him grow from a pretty little boy into someone now on the cusp of puberty who is just quite stunningly attractive. I almost said 'beautiful', but I don't want to give the impression that he's in any way 'girlish' looking - the acceptable male equivalent 'handsome' just doesn't do him justice, he's so far above the run of the mill, to my eyes, at least, but I can't think of a word you can use to describe a boy which would do him that justice. I'll stick at 'stunning', that's the best I can do. For all my hyperbolic language, I haven't lost my grip on reality - I know there's no chance of my ever getting anywhere near him, but if I had a genie's lamp and one wish from it, he would be that wish.
I started by saying that there wasn't any news today, but something has happened during the time I've been writing this post, although, sadly, I can't say too much about it, because if I did, it would be an absolute dead giveaway to my real identity. 'My' sports team won a vital match today against their biggest rivals, but, much I would love to shout about it from the cyberspace equivalent of the rooftops, the fact that it's not a UK team and not a UK sport, and I am, to my knowledge, the only fanatical supporter of that team anywhere in this part of the world - in fact, the only supporter of any stamp of that team around here - would just be too much information to give out, so I'll have to just have to say how delighted I am, and leave it at that.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Thursday 24 June 2010
The fruits of a good decision
I've had a nicely laid-back day today, doing a few domestic things, and, most importantly, not being at work, today being the first day of my long weekend. I was asked to work an overtime shift today, but it was a late shift, so, given the difficulties with the local populace around my workplace, I politely declined - and that was a few days ago, before yesterday's hiccups. As I drove back from doing the weekend shopping at lunchtime today, at around the time I would've been getting ready to go to work had I agreed to do the overtime, I knew I had made the right decision, for once in my life. Money is the universal lubricant that can make your life run more smoothly, but there are limits to the ends I want to go to for the sake of earning a few extra pounds.
I've been dabbling with another new story for 'Nephelokokkygia' - not the comedy I alluded to a few days ago, that rather ground to a halt, although I may revisit it at some point, but what I might best describe as a very offbeat love story. The only problem I've got is that I don't quite know where it's going at the moment, although I do like the basic idea - I'm writing in a fairly logical sequence, but the overall plot is rather vague - vague to the extent that the story hasn't even got a title yet. If it's got a life, I'm sure it will become apparent, but I'll reserve judgement for now.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I've been dabbling with another new story for 'Nephelokokkygia' - not the comedy I alluded to a few days ago, that rather ground to a halt, although I may revisit it at some point, but what I might best describe as a very offbeat love story. The only problem I've got is that I don't quite know where it's going at the moment, although I do like the basic idea - I'm writing in a fairly logical sequence, but the overall plot is rather vague - vague to the extent that the story hasn't even got a title yet. If it's got a life, I'm sure it will become apparent, but I'll reserve judgement for now.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Wednesday 23 June 2010
On a knife edge
This evening threw up an example of why I need to get out of my present job as soon as I can. It's all been pretty quiet in the three weeks since I've been back, and nothing actually happened today, but I saw the potential and the potential effects. Around 8:30, a group of around 20 youths, mid to late teens, turned up outside my workplace, some obviously the worse for drink and correspondingly noisy, spilling into the road and shouting abuse at a motorist who had the audacity to beep his horn at them. Nothing was directed my way, but even so, my stress levels went through the roof, with the predictable effect on my heart rate and rhythm. They all dispersed again within about 15 minutes, but I was left feeling pretty shaky for a good half hour afterwards. There's no way I can carry on much longer with this kind of stress - I spend a third of my working life on late shift, and being on tenterhooks over what might happen for that proportion of my time is completely insupportable.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Tuesday 22 June 2010
A picture
I was so pleased today when I looked through the blogs I follow, to find a lovely post on DJ's blog. He's drawn a delightful picture, and posted it as a 'Thank You' to people who've commented on his blog. As I'm one of those he's mentioned, I'm really feeling a warm glow at the moment. No-one can ever be sure about anyone they've only encountered online, but DJ seems like such a nice young person, with a wonderfully generous nature, especially given his difficult domestic circumstances at the moment. Some of the things he's written about just make me want to be able to reach through cyberspace and give him a big hug, just as I would give to my daughter if things weren't going well in her life. If I could wave a magic wand and make everything right for DJ, I wouldn't hesitate - of all those I've encountered in blogland, he's the one I most wish the best for.
Love & best wishes to all - and especially to DJ
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all - and especially to DJ
Sammy B
Monday 21 June 2010
The perfect antidote to Monday morning blues
This morning was my last 'stupid o'clock' start for this week, but my weariness and inertia was shaken up to some tune within about 20 minutes either side of 7:30. I don't spend my whole working day looking out of the window, by any means, and I was actually reasonably busy for quite a good chunk of my shift today, but the view from my outpost this morning was something a little out of the common run. Within those aforementioned 20 minutes, I saw three separate absolute cuties walking by, all about the same age, 11/12-ish, and all dressed in civvies rather than school uniform, which suggests some kind of school trip was in the offing. Two of the three I'd never seen before, and the other I'd only seen a couple of times before, and I have to say that I wouldn't be in the slightest bit upset to see any of them again! All just eye candy, of course, but none the worse for that.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sunday 20 June 2010
I feel another rant coming on
So, JJ's going to give up his blog. A good thing as well, given the amount of hurt it's caused him, when all he was looking for was friendship and support. Even though I know the chances of anyone concerned reading what I'm about to write are minimal, I hope that all those who sent JJ inappropriate e-mails and comments are thoroughly bloody ashamed of yourselves - you've helped to drive a friendly, kind-hearted, interesting and articulate young person away from blogland, and, not only that, you've hurt an emotionally damaged 14 year old CHILD, who's had quite enough trauma in his life, into the bargain, for the sake of your own gratification. I am aware that the e-mails, etc, are not the only issue involved in JJ giving up his blog now, but that doesn't change the fact that a significant number of adults, who should know better, have behaved quite disgracefully towards this boy.
Many might say that, given that I'm a self-confessed boylover, I've got no right to comment on other people's behaviour, but I have never and would never impose my desires on anyone else, and I would never become involved in any way at all with a young person, even as a platonic friend, unless it was clear to and beyond the point of absolute certainty that the other party was a completely willing participant, and was being treated on completely equal terms.
To make matters worse, this sort of incident gives more ammunition to those who would wish to completely suppress the GLBT 'community' and impose their version of morality on everyone. What's in your head is completely your domain, but as soon as you do anything which in any way impinges on others, even if it is only in cyberspace, then I think it's beholden on you to behave appropriately, and with the best interests of those others in mind.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Many might say that, given that I'm a self-confessed boylover, I've got no right to comment on other people's behaviour, but I have never and would never impose my desires on anyone else, and I would never become involved in any way at all with a young person, even as a platonic friend, unless it was clear to and beyond the point of absolute certainty that the other party was a completely willing participant, and was being treated on completely equal terms.
To make matters worse, this sort of incident gives more ammunition to those who would wish to completely suppress the GLBT 'community' and impose their version of morality on everyone. What's in your head is completely your domain, but as soon as you do anything which in any way impinges on others, even if it is only in cyberspace, then I think it's beholden on you to behave appropriately, and with the best interests of those others in mind.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Saturday 19 June 2010
Working weekend, Part 1
I was unlucky enough to have been able to stay awake late enough last night to have seen England's woeful effort against Algeria in the World Cup, which meant I went to bed rather later than I would normally have done on an early shift day, which in turn meant that I've been pretty washed out for most of today. I really don't mind shift work in general terms, I've been doing it for thirty-odd years, after all, but it isn't conducive to settled sleep patterns.
It looked for a long time as though I wasn't going to be treated to my workday (but non-schoolday) highlight, but the boy did eventually appear, around midday, looking as gorgeous as ever, putting a smile on my face, as he always does - it's a good job I normally work on my own!
Speaking of lightness of heart, given that my last effort for 'Nephelokokkygia' was rather on the downbeat side, I'm trying to produce something decidedly more comedic. The idea I've got has, I think, got the potential to be quite amusing, but whether, given my rather serious and sometimes over-intense personality, I'm best equipped to write comedy remains to be seen.
I'm not entirely without the capacity to laugh, though. My daughter and I quite often set sail on fairly odd flights of fancy, my tendency towards the surreal and her acting ability combining to produce the sort of duologues that other people might find entertaining, even though my wife often sits through our performances looking rather bemused, as she did tonight when our evening meal ended with some uninhibited silliness, my daughter playing a slightly psychotic waitress while I improvised a suitable 'script'. One of these days, we might come up with something saleable, you never know!
Rather more seriously, it seems that the speculation that led to me writing yesterday's post was completely wrong, but my diatribe against religious bigotry and similar hypocrisies would've been written sooner or later, and I stand by the general tenor of what I said - I really do object to those who award themselves the 'ability' to make definitive pronouncements on God's views, and try to dictate how other people should live their lives on the basis of their, in my humble opinion, spurious insights. If God did exist, a view I don't subscribe to, I can't imagine Him/Her/It being so small-minded as to judge people on their sexual, racial or, indeed, religious affiliations.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
It looked for a long time as though I wasn't going to be treated to my workday (but non-schoolday) highlight, but the boy did eventually appear, around midday, looking as gorgeous as ever, putting a smile on my face, as he always does - it's a good job I normally work on my own!
Speaking of lightness of heart, given that my last effort for 'Nephelokokkygia' was rather on the downbeat side, I'm trying to produce something decidedly more comedic. The idea I've got has, I think, got the potential to be quite amusing, but whether, given my rather serious and sometimes over-intense personality, I'm best equipped to write comedy remains to be seen.
I'm not entirely without the capacity to laugh, though. My daughter and I quite often set sail on fairly odd flights of fancy, my tendency towards the surreal and her acting ability combining to produce the sort of duologues that other people might find entertaining, even though my wife often sits through our performances looking rather bemused, as she did tonight when our evening meal ended with some uninhibited silliness, my daughter playing a slightly psychotic waitress while I improvised a suitable 'script'. One of these days, we might come up with something saleable, you never know!
Rather more seriously, it seems that the speculation that led to me writing yesterday's post was completely wrong, but my diatribe against religious bigotry and similar hypocrisies would've been written sooner or later, and I stand by the general tenor of what I said - I really do object to those who award themselves the 'ability' to make definitive pronouncements on God's views, and try to dictate how other people should live their lives on the basis of their, in my humble opinion, spurious insights. If God did exist, a view I don't subscribe to, I can't imagine Him/Her/It being so small-minded as to judge people on their sexual, racial or, indeed, religious affiliations.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Friday 18 June 2010
Bigotry and cheap shots
I have to say from the outset that much of this post is going to be based on supposition, and I stand to be corrected on the specifics, but the more general point, I feel, is worth making.
JJ's blog appears to be no more - I saw a brief post, which was like a blogsphere equivalent of a shout of pain, last night, and nothing has changed as I write, almost 24 hours later. His previous post consisted largely of a open letter from an academic to a radio presenter, who belongs, to use a generic term, to the 'religious right' in the U.S., pointing out, in a humorous way, the intellectual dishonesty of selectively using biblical quotations to promote a particular brand of morality, one which, amongst other things, is avowedly homophobic. I am, as I've said before in this blog, a committed atheist, but I've got no interest in converting anyone to my belief system - all I ask is the tolerance to allow me to believe what I believe, a courtesy which I'm more than happy to extend in reciprocation to anyone. What I strongly object to, however, is anyone trying to impose their beliefs and morality on me, and, even more strongly, to those who try to use their religion as a weapon to browbeat others into submission to their beliefs. I'm no expert in theology, but I think I'm right in saying that most major religions espouse love and compassion, but from what I see of the more fundamentalist elements in those religions, they seem more interested in spreading fear and hatred.
JJ's last post makes a reference to 'bad people', and this is where the supposition on my part comes in. Given the potentially controversial subject matter of the previous post, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if someone who feels their religion has been impugned has made a comment about his being gay, or his traumatic past, and has told him he's going to go to hell, or some such thing. If that is the case, I hope, though I suspect I hope in vain, that the person(s) responsible realises what they've done, namely attack an emotionally fragile 14 year old boy, and that they're thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Even if religion isn't involved, and someone has just said something personally hurtful to the boy, it's still the cheapest of cheap shots, doubtless made anonymously. I saw an advert on TV a couple of days ago trying to dissuade young people from 'cyberbullying', but it seems that there are some older people out there who might look at themselves in that regard.
Many thanks to Eddie, 'Always horny gay boy', for becoming my most recent follower.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
JJ's blog appears to be no more - I saw a brief post, which was like a blogsphere equivalent of a shout of pain, last night, and nothing has changed as I write, almost 24 hours later. His previous post consisted largely of a open letter from an academic to a radio presenter, who belongs, to use a generic term, to the 'religious right' in the U.S., pointing out, in a humorous way, the intellectual dishonesty of selectively using biblical quotations to promote a particular brand of morality, one which, amongst other things, is avowedly homophobic. I am, as I've said before in this blog, a committed atheist, but I've got no interest in converting anyone to my belief system - all I ask is the tolerance to allow me to believe what I believe, a courtesy which I'm more than happy to extend in reciprocation to anyone. What I strongly object to, however, is anyone trying to impose their beliefs and morality on me, and, even more strongly, to those who try to use their religion as a weapon to browbeat others into submission to their beliefs. I'm no expert in theology, but I think I'm right in saying that most major religions espouse love and compassion, but from what I see of the more fundamentalist elements in those religions, they seem more interested in spreading fear and hatred.
JJ's last post makes a reference to 'bad people', and this is where the supposition on my part comes in. Given the potentially controversial subject matter of the previous post, it wouldn't surprise me in the least if someone who feels their religion has been impugned has made a comment about his being gay, or his traumatic past, and has told him he's going to go to hell, or some such thing. If that is the case, I hope, though I suspect I hope in vain, that the person(s) responsible realises what they've done, namely attack an emotionally fragile 14 year old boy, and that they're thoroughly ashamed of themselves. Even if religion isn't involved, and someone has just said something personally hurtful to the boy, it's still the cheapest of cheap shots, doubtless made anonymously. I saw an advert on TV a couple of days ago trying to dissuade young people from 'cyberbullying', but it seems that there are some older people out there who might look at themselves in that regard.
Many thanks to Eddie, 'Always horny gay boy', for becoming my most recent follower.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Thursday 17 June 2010
Another dance with the muses
I began a new story for 'Nephelokokkygia' last night - I was really fired up when I started, thinking I might be able to go straight through and finish it, but that proved to be decidedly optimistic, so I'll be carrying on later today. This one is quite autobiographical, albeit with enough details changed to allow it to qualify as fiction, but the events it's based on happened a long time ago, anyway, so I don't think it will ruffle anyone's feathers too much.
Apart from that, yesterday was quite a lazy day - I get days off in midweek some weeks, to compensate for the fact that I work 3 weekends out of 4 - spent watching the latest matches in the World Cup and indulging in a few beers, for the most part. There are advantages and disadvantages to working the kind of roster that I do - days like yesterday, enjoying myself while most people are at work, are on the credit side, but I'm working this coming weekend, which means I'll miss our annual local regatta, always an enjoyable event. You can't have it all, I suppose.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Apart from that, yesterday was quite a lazy day - I get days off in midweek some weeks, to compensate for the fact that I work 3 weekends out of 4 - spent watching the latest matches in the World Cup and indulging in a few beers, for the most part. There are advantages and disadvantages to working the kind of roster that I do - days like yesterday, enjoying myself while most people are at work, are on the credit side, but I'm working this coming weekend, which means I'll miss our annual local regatta, always an enjoyable event. You can't have it all, I suppose.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Tuesday 15 June 2010
Decisions
My wife didn't have to go into work until slightly later this morning, because she was going straight to her first appointment, rather than going into her office en route, and we used the extra time profitably, by discussing our, or more specifically, my options on the job/financial front. One of the major frustrations my wife has had with our situation in recent times, which has led to quite a bit of tension between us, is that she hasn't believed that there has been a overall plan to deal with the issues, especially financial issues, that we have, accusing me, on occasions, of just letting things drift. That hasn't really been the case, in my opinion, because most of the inaction in the last year or so has centred around a vacancy which was due to arise last month in my company, for a job that would be more interesting, better paid, less stressful in terms of the issues that led to me having over a month on the sick list recently, with a better roster and closer to home as well. Given my experience, certainly in my line of work in this area of the country, I would have been the prime candidate for the job, but on the basis that anything that can go wrong, will, when the incumbent retired, the management, rather than advertising the vacancy, chose to reduce the establishment instead, as saving money is the be-all and end-all in the company at the moment, so the expected vacancy suddenly didn't exist. As soon as it became clear that 'my' job had evaporated, I began to apply for vacancies in other areas, amongst which is the job I was interviewed for recently and which I'm still waiting to hear about. After our conversation this morning, and given that it's by no means certain that the problems around my present job won't crop up again, I've laid out a definite plan with a definite timescale to my wife, and while I don't think it would be her first choice scenario, she's agreed that it's a viable option. If I don't get the current job I'm waiting to hear about, or any of the others I've applied for, before September, I'm going to leave my present job - it would effectively amount to early retirement rather than resignation, because I'd be looking to cash in my occupational pension, which would give us enough money to live on for 2 to 3 years - while looking for options that I would find more congenial in regards to earning a living. I've got a couple of self-employment ideas, not least amongst them being to have a crack at being a writer, either full-time, or at least part-time in conjunction with some more conventional kind of job. There's no doubt that it would constitute a high risk strategy, but I don't think it would be much more risky than sitting where I am now, waiting to either run out of money, or getting involved in another run-in with the local yobs and ending up by damaging one of them to the extent of getting myself sacked, or, worse still, arrested.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sunday 13 June 2010
Uncertainty
I'm feeling decidedly unsettled, almost nervous, at the moment. My wife is unhappy about something, but she won't say what the problem is - in fact, she's telling me that there isn't a problem, but I'm far from convinced. I don't think that I'm in the frame, but after recent hiccups between us, I can never be quite sure. I'm fairly tired as well, given that I never go to bed during the day after my last night shift - although I didn't finish work until 7:30 this morning, today is classed as a day off for me, and I have no wish to waste my day off by spending it asleep - so that has perhaps got a bearing on my agitation.
One item which is certainly adding to the general atmosphere of limbo, if not outright uncertainty, is that I'm still waiting to hear about the outcome of my job interview a fortnight or so ago. I was told at the time that there would be some delay, because one of the other candidates had to have their interview rescheduled, and I wouldn't be suicidal, by any means, if I didn't get the job, because if I do, it will mean being away from home a good deal of the time, but I'd still rather know one way or the other.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
One item which is certainly adding to the general atmosphere of limbo, if not outright uncertainty, is that I'm still waiting to hear about the outcome of my job interview a fortnight or so ago. I was told at the time that there would be some delay, because one of the other candidates had to have their interview rescheduled, and I wouldn't be suicidal, by any means, if I didn't get the job, because if I do, it will mean being away from home a good deal of the time, but I'd still rather know one way or the other.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Saturday 12 June 2010
Made it through the nights - nearly!
It's been a really nice day today, weather-wise, but that hasn't been of overly much benefit to me, because I've been in bed for a good chunk of the day, preparatory to my final night shift of the week. I don't, as it happens, mind night shifts too much, it tends to be fairly quiet most of the time and we get paid slightly more than for daytime shifts as well, but it isn't a time for much in the way of sociability - effectively, I spend one week in four out of mainstream life altogether, like being a part-time hermit!
When I first got into work earlier this evening, I completed the set of observation of examples of 'window of attractiveness' candidates which has been ongoing for the past couple of days, with the boy, the one who, if I believed in the concept of souls, I'd happily sell mine for. He really is absolutely delightful, and with the exception of one other, who I only ever saw twice, getting on for 30 years ago, the most attractive, to me, person I've ever seen in my life. Call me shallow, but it really makes my day every time I see him.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
When I first got into work earlier this evening, I completed the set of observation of examples of 'window of attractiveness' candidates which has been ongoing for the past couple of days, with the boy, the one who, if I believed in the concept of souls, I'd happily sell mine for. He really is absolutely delightful, and with the exception of one other, who I only ever saw twice, getting on for 30 years ago, the most attractive, to me, person I've ever seen in my life. Call me shallow, but it really makes my day every time I see him.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Friday 11 June 2010
A missed anniversary and an unfamiliar familiar face
My wife asked me the date this morning, and in telling her, it made me realise that we'd managed to forget a rather significant anniversary for our family earlier in the week - we first moved to Cornwall on June 8 2000, so we've now lived down here for over 10 years. It hasn't all gone quite as smoothly as it might have done, but, on the whole, I'm still happy that we made the right decision - it's a pretty nice part of the world to live in, by anyone's standards.
My daughter's school bus didn't turn up this morning - there was a new driver, apparently, and he'd taken a wrong turning and thereby contrived to miss out a large chunk of the route through our town, including my daughter's stop. The upshot was that my daughter came back home, and I ended up giving her a lift to school, a 15 mile round trip I could've done without after a 12 hour night shift - or, at least that would've been the case, but for a chance encounter en route. As we were driving down through the town, my daughter saw a number of her former primary school classmates on the way to the local comprehensive school. At one point, my daughter said "There's E* and M*", two of the boys who'd been in her class up to the end of the last school year, just under 12 months ago. To be frank, I almost crashed the car looking at E* - I doubt I'd even have recognised him if my daughter hadn't pointed him out. I assume it's puberty kicking in, but he's gone in just under a year from being nice looking, but very 'little-boyish' to being, to my eyes, drop dead gorgeous. It's interesting that yesterday I saw someone who's moved out of the upper end of my 'window of attractiveness' while today I've seen someone else who's entered the 'window' from below.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
My daughter's school bus didn't turn up this morning - there was a new driver, apparently, and he'd taken a wrong turning and thereby contrived to miss out a large chunk of the route through our town, including my daughter's stop. The upshot was that my daughter came back home, and I ended up giving her a lift to school, a 15 mile round trip I could've done without after a 12 hour night shift - or, at least that would've been the case, but for a chance encounter en route. As we were driving down through the town, my daughter saw a number of her former primary school classmates on the way to the local comprehensive school. At one point, my daughter said "There's E* and M*", two of the boys who'd been in her class up to the end of the last school year, just under 12 months ago. To be frank, I almost crashed the car looking at E* - I doubt I'd even have recognised him if my daughter hadn't pointed him out. I assume it's puberty kicking in, but he's gone in just under a year from being nice looking, but very 'little-boyish' to being, to my eyes, drop dead gorgeous. It's interesting that yesterday I saw someone who's moved out of the upper end of my 'window of attractiveness' while today I've seen someone else who's entered the 'window' from below.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Thursday 10 June 2010
Glutton for punishment
I've come into work early tonight, because the late shift person went sick, awarding myself an extra four hours in my delightful workplace. I have to say that I'm doing it strictly for the money, and not in any exaggerated sense of 'helping out the company' - my latest payslip, covering the second half of my time on sick leave/annual leave arrived in the post today, and it didn't make very encouraging reading. My run-in with the 'youth of today' has ended up costing me several hundred pounds in lost wages, mainly for weekend work, so a few hours' overtime will redress the balance a little, even if I'm not very keen on being here.
Speaking of youth, almost as soon as I'd arrived here this evening, I happened to be looking out of the window when a good looking young man of 16 or 17 passed by. I hadn't seen him before, although he was wearing the uniform of the local comprehensive school, so he presumably lives in the area. The phrase 'young man' is the significant one, though, because, although I recognised the fact that he was handsome, I felt no attraction to him at all. Had I seen him 3 or 4 years ago, though, and assuming that he looked how I would imagine, extrapolating from how he looks now (that's if you can extrapolate backwards, of course!), I have no doubt that I would've been absolutely drooling over him. But now, to my taste, he just looked too adult. It doesn't bother me, but gives an interesting sidelight on my 'age of attraction'.
A little bit of sad news today, too (actually posted last night, but I didn't see it until this afternoon), in that Mattie is giving up his blog (House of Mattie). His was one of the first blogs I began following, in February this year, and it's one that has always been entertaining. As with anyone who keeps a blog, if he feels it's the right time to stop, then it absolutely is, but I can't help feeling a little disappointment. The bloggers and commenters who you come across in blog-land aren't exactly friends (I intend no offence to anyone in saying that), but there is a sense of community, and when someone leaves the community, there's a certain feeling of loss. I've left a comment on his last post, but I would also like to say here that I hope wherever Mattie goes on to in his life, he's happy and successful.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Speaking of youth, almost as soon as I'd arrived here this evening, I happened to be looking out of the window when a good looking young man of 16 or 17 passed by. I hadn't seen him before, although he was wearing the uniform of the local comprehensive school, so he presumably lives in the area. The phrase 'young man' is the significant one, though, because, although I recognised the fact that he was handsome, I felt no attraction to him at all. Had I seen him 3 or 4 years ago, though, and assuming that he looked how I would imagine, extrapolating from how he looks now (that's if you can extrapolate backwards, of course!), I have no doubt that I would've been absolutely drooling over him. But now, to my taste, he just looked too adult. It doesn't bother me, but gives an interesting sidelight on my 'age of attraction'.
A little bit of sad news today, too (actually posted last night, but I didn't see it until this afternoon), in that Mattie is giving up his blog (House of Mattie). His was one of the first blogs I began following, in February this year, and it's one that has always been entertaining. As with anyone who keeps a blog, if he feels it's the right time to stop, then it absolutely is, but I can't help feeling a little disappointment. The bloggers and commenters who you come across in blog-land aren't exactly friends (I intend no offence to anyone in saying that), but there is a sense of community, and when someone leaves the community, there's a certain feeling of loss. I've left a comment on his last post, but I would also like to say here that I hope wherever Mattie goes on to in his life, he's happy and successful.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Wednesday 9 June 2010
Done & dusted
I've finally finished my story for the other blog - it ended up being quite a lot longer than I originally expected, but I'm fairly pleased with it - I don't think it drags too much, but then I'm probably biased!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Tuesday 8 June 2010
Another night slaving over a hot keyboard
It's a good job we haven't got CCTV recording our every move where I work, because I've just spent most of my second night shift of the week beavering away at my story. By this time tomorrow, given a fair wind and another quiet night at work, and to be honest, most of our night shifts are pretty quiet, it might even be finished.
I'm starting to feel quite a bit of excitement at the process of actually creating the story - probably novelty value at having found a scenario that seems to be working out, and doesn't present as being too much like hard work. I'm not presuming on the favour of the muses lasting too long, though - I know it's still 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, with apologies to the shade of Mr Edison.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I'm starting to feel quite a bit of excitement at the process of actually creating the story - probably novelty value at having found a scenario that seems to be working out, and doesn't present as being too much like hard work. I'm not presuming on the favour of the muses lasting too long, though - I know it's still 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration, with apologies to the shade of Mr Edison.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sunday 6 June 2010
Work, but not as we know it
I was quite busy at work this afternoon and evening, but not necessarily with what I was actually being paid for. I did everything I needed to do as far as my real job goes, but put far more effort and enthusiasm into the 'work' I was doing in between times, namely setting about my 'sequel' to 'Lucid' for my other blog. The way it's shaping up, it looks like being quite a bit longer than the original - I just hope I'm not slowing it down too much with the amount of plot and character development I'm putting in.
Apart from that, it's been a relatively uneventful day, which, given recent experience, isn't necessarily a bad thing!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Apart from that, it's been a relatively uneventful day, which, given recent experience, isn't necessarily a bad thing!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Saturday 5 June 2010
Exhale
All quiet on the western front, no idea why I was so jittery, and so on and so on. It turned out to be a very quiet evening at work, to the point where I kept looking at the clock and thinking "this must be the calm before the storm, there's still 4 hours to go", then 3, then 2 and then the night shift man arrived and it was all over. I doubt that they've put anything in the water to change anyone's behaviour in my absence, so I'll just accept the good fortune and move on.
I have to admit I've been thoroughly blokeish since I got home - I've awarded myself a couple of cold beers and spent the last hour and a half watching some sport on TV. I just felt like switching my brain off this evening, so I have!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I have to admit I've been thoroughly blokeish since I got home - I've awarded myself a couple of cold beers and spent the last hour and a half watching some sport on TV. I just felt like switching my brain off this evening, so I have!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Wednesday 2 June 2010
Back on the chain gang
Well...it could've been worse. My first shift back at work passed without any undue hassles - the worst thing I had to deal with was having a technician under my feet for a couple of hours trying, eventually successfully, to resurrect a broken piece of equipment - although the alarm going off just after 4:00 this morning was a decidedly groan-inducing experience! My line manager appeared just before I was due to finish, brandishing a "Return to Work after Sickness" form, which is required for anyone who's been off for longer than 20 days - there's got to be a paper trail for everything these days, it seems - which he needed to complete with me. One of the questions raised a laugh - "How is the employee intending to ensure their fitness to work?", to which I replied "I'm looking for a new job!" Fortunately, my manager has got a sense of humour, and, given that it's an internal application, knows about my interview last week.
My mother-in-law had a hospital appointment today, to discuss treatment options, and my wife went with her, which means my family will be away for an extra day. The hope is for good news, but the reality is that the prognosis isn't too wonderful. It's obviously going to be an issue eventually, because both my in-laws are in their seventies, but I know how devastated my wife would be if anything happens to her parents - she's the 'baby' of her family and they've always been really close. I know it's going to fall to me to help her when the time comes - I just hope I'm up to it.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
My mother-in-law had a hospital appointment today, to discuss treatment options, and my wife went with her, which means my family will be away for an extra day. The hope is for good news, but the reality is that the prognosis isn't too wonderful. It's obviously going to be an issue eventually, because both my in-laws are in their seventies, but I know how devastated my wife would be if anything happens to her parents - she's the 'baby' of her family and they've always been really close. I know it's going to fall to me to help her when the time comes - I just hope I'm up to it.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Tuesday 1 June 2010
A day with the Cuckoos - but tempered by reality
I spent a large chunk of yesterday writing a short story for my other blog, and, for once, I actually managed to get something finished and posted, albeit not until the early hours of this morning. I don't want to be accused of self-aggrandisement, but I think it's probably the best thing I've ever written, and I'm pretty pleased with it.
No good seems to come unalloyed at the moment, though, and yesterday also brought bad news about my mother-in-law's health. Both of my wife's parents have intermittently been in poor health over the last 2 or 3 years, but this time it could be potentially life-threatening. My wife and daughter will be travelling up to visit later today, but I can't go, because I'm back to work tomorrow, seven and a half weeks on from my bad night with the scroats. The first couple of days, on early shift, shouldn't be too much of an issue, but my first late shift, on Friday, is a prospect that that I'm facing with some trepidation. I shouldn't worry about things that haven't happened yet, I guess, because it might all pass peacefully, especially if the weather is anything like we have now - it's absolutely pouring with rain at the moment.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
No good seems to come unalloyed at the moment, though, and yesterday also brought bad news about my mother-in-law's health. Both of my wife's parents have intermittently been in poor health over the last 2 or 3 years, but this time it could be potentially life-threatening. My wife and daughter will be travelling up to visit later today, but I can't go, because I'm back to work tomorrow, seven and a half weeks on from my bad night with the scroats. The first couple of days, on early shift, shouldn't be too much of an issue, but my first late shift, on Friday, is a prospect that that I'm facing with some trepidation. I shouldn't worry about things that haven't happened yet, I guess, because it might all pass peacefully, especially if the weather is anything like we have now - it's absolutely pouring with rain at the moment.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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