I began watching a programme about cosmology by that name last night, an episode of the BBC's long running Horizon science series, probably, overall, my favourite TV programme over the years. I didn't, in the event, get to see much it, because my ex rang me, and we ended up having a fairly lengthy chat, about our respective situations, and their financial backgrounds, and how both relate to K and her immediate future as she embarks on her last year at school and, hopefully, her subsequent move on to university in twelve months time. By that time, I'd already arranged with work to take today off, in the aftermath of yesterday's terrible news - my initial reason for not wanting to go in was that I was shocked and upset, but, as the evening progressed, my feelings turned more to anger and resentment, focused on a so-called 'society' that can hound a fundamentally good man to kill himself because of attitudes towards an innate difference, and I realised that there was another good reason for my staying away from work today. If anyone had come out with the daily, and it is virtually daily, dose of mindless homophobia in my hearing, I would've been extremely likely to have punched them in the mouth, not something that would do much for my career prospects, and, like it or not, I can't afford to lose my job, as I've said before, for K's sake. The possibility of a flashpoint will still be there when I do go back to work, but as I'm not in again until Tuesday night, the immediate rawness of the situation will, hopefully, have diminished somewhat. So, which universe do we live in? Not one I would choose, if there was a parallel with more compassion, more intelligence, more tolerance to move to, that's a certainty.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
