Not that simple

Despite the fact that my bank account is full (by my standards) after my pension money was transferred on May 1, doing something sensible about it has been more difficult than I've expected. I've pored, by the hour, at estate agents' websites, almost obsessively, but haven't managed to find 'the one', the home I want to live in for what remains of my life. I'm hamstrung, realistically, by the fact that I haven't got quite enough money for the sort of place I really want, particularly in terms of going back to Cornwall, but even the places I could afford all seem to have snags of one sort or another. To make it worse still, I'm not convinced that a place of my own is worth the hassle anyway. A part of me would be happy with staying put, in boring 'domicile-ville', going to the pub and drinking myself to death. After all, I know that I'll never get the thing that I want most, so what's the point?

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Cornwall? Maybe, just maybe!

I've spent hours poring over estate agents' listings (mostly online) since my pension money has been confirmed and transferred into my bank account. I've looked at literally hundreds of properties, both for sale and rent, all over the UK. But when it comes to down it, what I want to do is to get back to 'home', i.e. South East Cornwall, the area I moved to with my family in 2000, the area I hoped to live for the rest of my life. My options are few, really, because I'm not rich at all, by 2018 standards, but I have got enough money to seriously think about a particular flat in the town close to where we used to live. Given my intractable pessimism, I can think of dozens of pitfalls, but, oh, if only....

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

What I want, really want

I've been to the seaside today, looking at a flat I could afford, given that my pension money is now in my bank account. It wasn't the 'the one', sadly, but it was fairly close, in many ways. After reflection, though, what I really want, ultimately, is wasting my cash on a cute boy (legal, if necessary) and then die, but with a smile on my lips. Not going to happen, of course, but I can dream.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Cumpleaños y jubilación

 A big day for me, and no mistake. It's my birthday (58, how bloody old?!), but, even more significantly, I'm retiring today. It's 39 years, 3 months and 22 days since I first started with my company. For my sins, or whatever. I'm not going to miss it - I used to be keen, mad keen, but that was a long time ago, it's just a job now, and has been for decades. It's paid fairly well, I have to admit, and it's been a lot better than digging ditches, but I won't be tearful, at all. I'm not working per se today, just handing my keys and the like to my manager and saying goodbye to any of colleagues who happen to be there. None of my regular 'gang' will be there, although I've seen all of them, apart from the 'archbigot', who retired himself earlier this month, since my illness, so there will be no regrets in that sense. So, after lunchtime, it's the start of my next adventure, such as it is, and I'm going to see K for a meal this evening. I'm always happy to see her, of course, but today will be particularly sweet. My girl, the centre of my universe. I love her so much.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Back (to my spiritual) home

A big day - my beloved Saints are back home, Moorabbin Oval (or RSEA Safety Park, if you prefer, but I can't believe any Sainter will call the place by that name!). OK, I've never been to Moorabbin - in fact, I've never been to the Southern Hemisphere at all, and don't expect to - but, as far as I'm concerned, it's my team's home ground, and always will be. For someone who's been a St Kilda fan for more than 30 years, I'm really quite emotional today. Go Sainters!.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Hawking

In these times, of 'celebrities' and 'reality shows', Andy Warhol's mantra about '15 minutes fame' is all too depressingly familiar. There are a few people, though, for who it is virtually impossible to overestimate. Stephen Hawking has been one of those people. Not only was he pre-eminent in his field, but also battled against almost insurmountable odds in terms of his horrific illness. One of the most remarkable men in my lifetime, as far as I'm concerned.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Sammy

A friend, someone who became one of the very, very few people knew about the link between my 'blog life' and my 'real life', once asked how my pseudonym came to be. Given that the name 'Sammy B' predated my blog, I guess it's a fair question. The answer, in a nutshell, is fiction, both in terms of reading and writing. I've long wanted to write, at least in phases, since I was in my teens, but I never really did anything about it, apart from a series of notebooks and, later, diaries - my 'Dear Diary' phase lasted for almost a decade, pretty much every day, from the late eighties into the nineties - but, eventually, they were all destroyed, for various reasons, albeit that, with hindsight, I regret their loss now. By the late 'noughties', however, I found the writing bug once more, and with it, a new genre of reading as far as I was concerned - online erotic fiction, with, of course, boys 'starring' predominantly. But starring far more in love stories than purely sexual ones (although I won't deny that many have turned me on, too!). And of all those stories, my favourite is The Geppetto Project (I'm sure anyone who wants to find the story will be able to readily enough), in particular the relationship between two of the main characters, a man and a boy. And, surprise, surprise, the boy's name is Sammy. When I decided I wanted try to write stories of my own, and decided to venture into 'blogland', too, I thought about whether and if I should construct a nom de plume, and the name immediately stuck out, partly because I was so fond of the character, and partly because I've never known personally anyone by that name. The letter 'B' came about was going to be a fictional surname, but the name was to be an unusual one, referring to a Cornish placename, and I decided that it was too close to the place I was living at the time for security reasons, albeit I was being a bit paranoid, really. So 'Sammy B' became it was, and still is. Why mention my nomenclature now? Because I'm in the process of re-reading The Geppetto Project for the first time for something four years - and I still love it. And Sammy.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B