News, but not life-changing

K rang me earlier today - she's back at 'uni-town' after a few days with her mother, and told me that my ex has got engaged. Some might be jealous, but I'm not one of them - as long as she's happy and safe, I'm quite sanguine about it all. I loved her, maybe still love her now, for a long time, but, as I've said several times, my marriage was always an accident waiting to happen. Sadly, though, the chance of me finding someone of my own is somewhere between infinitesimal and nil, given my sexuality and my (lack of) health. As I said to my girl, though, I wouldn't mind a hug at the moment, but that's extremely unlikely, too.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Propositioned - but not really

I've had an encounter within the last hour that has been close to surreal. I was walking from the bus stop to the flat, a mere couple of hundred yards from my front door, when I was asked if I wanted a hug. It was a boy, 12/13, who spoke, and while he wasn't supercute, he was more than passable, especially for the likes of me. He was messing about, needless to say - there were a couple of girls involved with him and his mate - but I couldn't help but smile wryly. I was a good boy, really - all I said in reply was ' You don't understand what you're saying'. Would that he was serious, but that would never happen. Ever.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Frustrated, more than usual

I'm well aware that many people will consider what I'm going to say falls in the 'too much information' category, but I'm going to say it regardless. Maybe because it's springtime, but I've been rather horny in the last few days. Apart from the obvious considerations of my health and age, this presents me with more than the usual problems - or more, the continuation of the problems I've had for the years, namely my sexuality. I've seen several cute boys, and even a girl or two to my liking, too, over the past weekend, given that it's still the school holidays, and that it's been fairly nice, weather-wise, but the familiar 'double-edged sword' cliché has been prevalent. I've veered between loving the eye candy and feeling borderline depressed, given the fact that I've got virtually no chance of any contact, even to speak a young person, never mind more. I'm not suggesting that I'm on the point of doing something damaging to an innocent bystander, or even to myself, but the pressure has been raised somewhat. What can I do about the situation? Nothing, in all probability. Life is shit, then you die.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Kenzie

It's the first day of the school holidays, and it's been a nice day weather-wise, too, ideal for meandering around and watching the world go by. The nicest view I've seen (so far, at least!) has been a fair-haired boy, with particularly lovely green eyes, on a bus with his mother and sister (I was just behind them, so I couldn't help hearing most of their conversations). As ever, he was gone all too soon, the old 'ghost' syndrome coming to the fore, but still better than not seeing him at all. Kenzie, you've made my day!

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Blondy

Now that I'm starting to get my bearings with my 'new pastures', it seems that the area is fairly well stocked with 'eye candy'. One example is a guy I've seen five times now, over the last two weekends, and he's cute. 12-ish, tall for his age, long, coltish legs, nice face, and very blond, with almost white hair. Most of the occasions I've seen him so far have been from my kitchen window - there's a small park/playground close by - but I've seen him by the local bus stop, too. Now that the clocks have gone forward, and the weather is better (hopefully!), I'll be keeping my eyes peeled! Not, of course, that I'll expect to engage him in conversation any time soon, but just seeing him is a bonus.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B