Saturday, 17 September 2016

Autumn, and autumn

The changing of the seasonal guard hasn't quite officially happened yet - in theory, there are three more days of summer left - but no-one seems to have told the weather that. After a couple of thirty degree plus days earlier in the week, it's been grey, windy and very cool today. A foretaste of the months to come. I can hardly wait.
The blog might be entering its own autumn, too. Regular readers (assuming any are left) will probably have noticed that my posts have become briefer and more sporadic lately. There's a simple reason - I feel pretty much 'all talked out'. My life, in itself, isn't at all eventful, all the more so now K isn't around anymore, and there really are only so many ways of saying 'I still haven't got a boy in my life, see no prospect of that changing, and that absence hurts, every day'. The blog isn't formally in hiatus, but the next post might be tomorrow, or six months hence, or never. Time, as ever, will tell.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Monday, 12 September 2016

godheadSilo

A couple of years ago, a (sorely missed) cyberspace friend of mine linked me to a track I'd never heard of, by a band I'd never heard of, thinking it might be to my taste. He was right, in spades. I'm now a massive fan of both the track, and the band. Elephantitis of The Night by godheadSilo. Awesome. Do your ears a favour, and seek it out on YouTube. Thank you David, for, as you did so often, progressing my musical education.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Friday, 9 September 2016

Sometime, maybe

So, I had my trip to 'uni-town' yesterday to deliver K's stuff to her, and we spent about three hours together, including a shopping trip to get her some household bits and pieces, followed by a late lunch. All too soon, though, I was on the train back to London, with the knowledge that our next meeting could be weeks, if not months away. I suppose I lived in much the same way between 2012 and 2014, when she was still in Cornwall and I was in 'domicile-ville', so it could be said I should be used to it, but things don't seem to work that way. I made the mistake of getting too accustomed to her being around, I guess. And now I'm paying the price.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Wednesday, 7 September 2016

So there is some good news

I've just found this, which can, as far as I'm concerned, be paraphrased very simply - fucking excellent!
And I've just had the pleasure of K's company for a couple of hours, as she came back to the flat to pick some more of her stuff up. I was originally going to go back with her to help, but I've been ill for the past few days, and I'm not quite up to it yet. All being well, though, even that cloud will have a silver lining, because, health permitting (and it should), I'll go down and see her tomorrow, which wasn't part of the original plan, but will be far from unwelcome. All gifts gratefully accepted!.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Monday, 5 September 2016

Goodbye girl

Six hours ago, give or take, K left for her new adventure, her next phase of life as an undergraduate. I know it's all psychological, but the flat seems unbelievably quiet and empty already, and far less of a home. It's not, of course, that I'm never going to see her again - she'll be back on Wednesday to pick some more of her belongings up - but it certainly does mark the end of an era. Unless something completely unforeseen happens, I'll never again live permanently with anyone else. I've been trying to get myself ready for this moment pretty much since K moved here more than two years ago, but if the way I feel now is anything to go by, I've failed abjectly. 'Missing you already' is usually no more than an ironic cliché, but it's never seemed more real to me than it does right now.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Friday, 2 September 2016

A year on

A year ago today, a very good friend of mine died. A friend I only met in person once, on a summer afternoon and evening in 2012, the rest of our friendship being by way of cyberspace. But, nonetheless, one of the closest friends I've ever had, not least because, in many ways, we had much in common. Including the opprobrium of 'society', which, as far as I'm concerned, was what drove him to do what he did those twelve months ago. Gone, but never forgotten. My friend Jay.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Monday, 29 August 2016

Not waving

Not quite drowning, either, but nearer the latter than the former. I finished my 'out of circulation' week this morning with the last of my latest batch of night shifts, and I'm now into a couple of days off, but it's done little to raise my spirits. Not only are these my last days off before the end of the school holidays, with the obvious implications for daytime eye candy, they're also the last before K disappears to uni - she'll be gone by this time next week. And she's busy on both of them, as well as most of the rest of the week, although my being on lates from Wednesday renders that pretty much academic. Not, of course, that I would ever dream of trying to stand in her way, even if it was possible, but going back to the sort of isolation I experienced between the end of my marriage and K's arrival in London just over two years ago is hardly the most enticing of prospects.
If there is any sort of light on the horizon, though, it may be by way of Nephelokokkygia. I never make promises about my fiction writing, because there have been far too many false dawns, but I do have two ongoing projects there that have a chance, at least, of coming to fruition. The muse could desert me at any moment, though, so I'll say no more until I can say something substantive.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B