Friday, 31 October 2014

Trick or treat

Halloween, when I was a kid, was, in this country, just another day. I guess most people had heard of 'trick or treat', but it was seen as an American thing, and simply didn't happen here. Fast forward to 2014, though, and Halloween seems to have become yet another commercially driven 'season', advertised weeks in advance and dragging out over days rather than a few hours of October 31. Odd, too, how young people who have 'stranger danger' dinned into them, directly or indirectly, day in and day out, are then encouraged to go and knock on those very strangers' doors and beg for sweets. Isn't the classic 'paedo' tactic supposed to be offering sweets to small children? As ever, it's all hypocrisy and inconsistency. My plan is to leave for work early and take a slow meander there by bus, before anyone gets the chance to knock on my door. K has already gone off to her Halloween party, so there's no incentive for me to sit around waiting for the chance of being 'tricked'. And even the outside possibility of opening my front door to be faced by some unaccompanied cutie isn't a position I want to put myself in. The whole 'holiday' stinks, as far as I'm concerned.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Thursday, 30 October 2014

Nothing days

Typical of being on nights, really, the past couple of days have comprised almost nothing beyond the work-commute-sleep-eat-commute-work cycle. The feeling of being disconnected from the rest of the world has been accentuated by the fact that I've seen almost nothing of K - she's in her typical 'school holiday' mode, travelling far and wide. She went down to the West Country on Tuesday to catch up with one of her friends, then headed off yesterday to stay with her potential bandmates - she still seems to be their preferred candidate for being their new bassist - sleeping over there last night and showing no signs of heading back any time soon, while tomorrow she's off to a Halloween party at one of her schoolfriend's places, relatively local, but once more with an overnight stay. The upshot is that between Monday evening when I left for work, and some time on Saturday, I'll have spent, in the sense of face to face in the same room, all of about ten minutes in my daughter's company, the last few minutes before she set out for Buckinghamshire yesterday morning. I'm off work again next week, continuing my programme of using up my remaining annual leave before the end of the year, but she'll be back at school, so I doubt I'll see much more of her then either. There are times when we seem more like random housemates than anything resembling a family. Mind you, I doubt that I'm unique amongst parents of teenagers in those types of feelings!

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Tuesday, 28 October 2014

The big lie

A 'propaganda technique', as the first line of the Wikipedia article on the subject describes it. Make a claim that is so egregious that 'the average person' believes it because they can't imagine anyone being able to make up something so outlandish. The phrase is most commonly associated with the Holocaust, but, these days, it seems to be fair game for religious right bigots. Dehumanise your hate object/scapegoat, in an attempt to justify and legitimise their persecution and ultimate destruction. Vile in the extreme.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Monday, 27 October 2014

Full circle

Almost, anyway. More than four and a half years, and getting on for 1500 posts after I first dipped my toe into the cyberspace ocean in February 2010, I'm back to where I started, just me, the keyboard and the contents of my head. The few 'cyberfriends' I've been lucky enough to interact with over the years have pretty much all melted away, and why not, of course? Who in their right mind would want anything to do with a perpetually depressed, self-pitying 'paedo'. Especially that last, needless to say. People are so terrified of being found 'guilty by association', that in saying anything that isn't bitterly excoriating about the likes of me they would be seen as, at the very least, 'condoning' my attractions, or worse, from their point of view, of being a closeted 'paedo' themselves. Never mind that I don't get any closer to boys than reading online stories for fantasy material, never mind that I've spent decades keeping my desires under control, so as not to hurt anyone, I'm still 'mad, bad, and dangerous to know' in varying proportions. So, frankly, fuck it. I'm fed up of battering my head against the wall of societal hatred. Yes, I'm a boylover. Yes, I want to have sex with a pubescent boy. But only, only ever, with any such boy's informed consent. If anyone reading this finds that offensive, that's too bad. Go and read something else.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Sunday, 26 October 2014

Whispering into the void

A phrase I used in one of my very, very early blog posts. And how I feel right now. The corner I've painted myself into seems to be getting smaller and more imprisoning almost by the day, in cyberspace terms and IRL. Self-inflicted wounds, of course, but wounds nonetheless. And wounds that I seem not to have the slightest idea how to recover from.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Winter is here again

A line of dialogue from Damien - Omen II, but, more to the point, descriptive of today, the day the clocks went back to GMT. It's just after 5:00, and dark already, and if that doesn't make it winter, I don't know what does. Allied to the fact that my isolation seems more pronounced than ever of late, spring appears to be an awfully long way away.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Moronic theocrats live here, too

More evidence that the US is far from unique in having religious right blockheads who somehow manage to convince enough of the sheeple to vote for them to get elected, in this case to the so-called 'mother of parliaments'. Even without his antediluvian views on education and marriage equality, anyone who says 'I agree with Farage on almost everything' should be instantly disbarred from public office for life - and mercilessly pointed and laughed at, to boot.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B