Tuesday, 30 September 2014

The big city

'When a man is tired of London, he is tired of life.' So said Dr Johnson, a couple of centuries or so ago. Well, I've been working in London for just over four years now (the anniversary fell in the middle of last week), and actually back living here for seven months, to add to my almost two years here in the 1980s, and while I perhaps wouldn't go as far as Johnson as a metropolitan afficionado, there are, for me, decidedly more pros than cons. There are days, though, days like today when the sun is shining, the city isn't too ridiculously busy and congested and I can sit on the top deck of various buses, watching the world flow by outside, that I come close, at least, to loving the place. Maybe I'll go back to Cornwall one day, maybe I'll leave the country completely and find somewhere the sun shines more or less every day, but, in the meantime, I could think of far, far worse places to be than 'the big city'.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Monday, 29 September 2014

Cutie time is cancelled....

....due to emotional fragility. I've deliberately avoided my usual after-school eye candy search, and come to the pub instead. Because, ultimately, what is 'cutie time', anyway? Nothing but me with my nose pressed to the toy shop window, gazing at what I want the most, but can never have. Life is shit enough as it is, without torturing myself further. '(Eye) candy is dandy, but liquor is....' more reliable.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Sunday, 28 September 2014

Desolation

If you've heard this all before, and find it tedious, feel free to stop reading now. I haven't been in a good place for several days now, and it isn't getting any better. This time next week, I'll be embarking on almost two weeks off, using up the annual leave I haven't used earlier in the year, because I've had nothing to use it for. And that's still the same - in those two weeks, and a couple more later in the autumn, I've got nothing to do, nowhere to go, no-one to see. No point at all to my life, apart from keeping my daughter fed and sheltered until she's ready to go her own way, sooner rather than later. Last weekend, with my brother, the subject of 'bucket lists' came up in conversation. As I said at the time, there's only one item on mine, and it's 99%. at least, certain never to come to pass.

Nothing.

Nowhere.

No-one.

For always.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B


Saturday, 27 September 2014

She's done it again

From the brief view I had before I staggered off to bed this morning, anyway. It seems that K has acquired a new boyfriend, same age as her (and thus legal) - and he's cute! In some ways, maybe even cuter than the previous model to my eyes, because he looks a tad younger, maybe a year or two, than his chronological age, Not, of course, that I'd try to come between my girl and her beau, even in the vanishingly unlikely event that I was able to, but if, in due course, they 'move on' - well, I certainly wouldn't say no!

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Friday, 26 September 2014

Not fit to be seen

One of K's schoolfriends is staying over tonight. I'm pleased, of course, that's she's made friends readily at her new school, and that she seems to have fitted in to the community without difficulty, Not that I would've expected otherwise, she's a nice person to know, and has vastly more 'people skills' than I do (albeit that's not much of an achievement, virtually everybody has more people skills than me). It seems, though, that I'm not even deemed worthy of even the briefest of introductions to her new friend - they've been sequestered in K's room since they arrived from school, almost two hours ago. Yeah, OK, teenagers, but is K that ashamed of me that even a few seconds of socialisation is beyond the pale?

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Wednesday, 24 September 2014

Another day, another pill

And, as I've just found on getting up, another medical next week. As to the pills, though - since the weekend, I've been suffering from an unpleasantly itchy rash, which had reached the point where I really had trouble sleeping yesterday, problematic given that I'm on nights this week. So it was off to the doctors' this morning, where, without much delay, I was diagnosed with urticaria, and prescribed antihistamines as treatment. At least I slept better today, doubtless helped by the fact that one of the side effects of the pills is three to six hours of drowsiness.
When I did eventually resurface, an hour or so ago, it was to find a letter that had been delivered earlier 'inviting' me to a 'review medical' next Friday. It was too late to speak to my new boss today, so I'll call him in the morning and see if any light can be shed upon this development. I was under the impression I'd been passed fit for my job until 2018, so I'm interested, to say the least, as to why the goalposts appear to have been moved again.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

Saturday, 20 September 2014

It should go better this time

Exactly 52 weeks ago, I was on a train to Manchester for a visit that degenerated into one of the worst days of my life. In a couple of hours time, I'll be heading off on another trip, but I'm not expecting it to be anything other than congenial this time. I'm off to my brother's, to take him and my sister-in-law  out for a meal to belatedly celebrate their fiftieth birthdays - my sister-in-law passed the milestone a month ago, my brother a fortnight later. I'm looking forward to what I'm sure will be an evening of good food and good company - and I don't feel I'm tempting fate in the slightest by saying so.

Love & best wishes
Sammy B