Running on empty

This morning was my fourth early start in a row, and I've still got 2 more to do yet. Not to put too fine a point on it, I'm knackered. I know there must be a reason for my carrying on coming to work .... oh yeah, if I don't, I don't get paid, can't pay the mortgage, etc, etc. At least the weather's not as awful as the forecasters predicted - we were supposed to have heavy rain & gales today, but nothing like that has materialised yet.

I suppose I'm like a lot of people in that I daydream about winning the National Lottery, and what it would mean if I did. To be honest, I'm not especially materialistic in the sense of wanting lots of things, but what would really make me happy would be the freedom from the treadmill of work day in, day out, being able to spend my time doing what I wanted to do instead of what I need to do. In other words, what a lottery win would buy me above all else would be time - maybe that need is linked to my getting older, a sense that as I approach my next and landmark birthday, my store of future time is running out all too rapidly.

Most of the blogs I've been reading recently are written by younger people, and the life and enthusiasm of most of them is refreshing and infectious. I guess I was more like that at a similar age, although, even then, I had a tendency towards the introspective. The point in my life I've reached now was so remote from my teenage perspective as to be almost unimaginable - even the year 2000, which some of us talked about back then, seemed impossibly far away, and that's now a decade in the past. Perhaps it's a good thing that we can't see our futures too clearly when we're young - I'm sure there would be more depression in the world if we could.

Love & best wishes to all

Sammy B