The corner

The one I've painted myself into, that is, seems to be getting smaller by the day. K and I came as close to an argument, before I went to work last night, as we have since she moved in. I was more to blame than her, because I reacted, not so much to what she did, but to how it reminded me of other things, past and present. It reminded me both of how isolated I am, in literal and sociological terms, and also of how her mother and I related, or more accurately, failed to relate to each other during the latter part of our marriage. K and I did, I think, mend fences before I had to leave, but it's left me with a sense of having to walk on eggshells as regards what subjects, or aspects of subjects, I can talk to my daughter about. And not wanting to lose her as well as everything else that's gone, that is inevitably going to lead to a 'blanding-down' of our interactions, an aversion to talking about anything that might be in any way controversial. Just like this blog, really. There's going to be a lot more having to be held inside. Whether that is, ultimately, a good thing is doubtful, to say the least.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B