Sunday 7 March 2010

Deep breath.......

I've been hesitantly trying to write this next part for 3 or 4 days now, and it's stubbornly refusing to come out right, or, indeed, come out at all. And given that 'coming out' is kind of the issue, I think I need to just go for it and damn the consequences (or risk thereof). When I said in my first post that I was bisexual, I was only telling part of the story. I'm pretty good at selective truth (dissimulation, if you want a posh dictionary word for it), but part of the object of the blog was get thoughts and feelings I struggle with out of my system, so selective truth defeats that object. The truth is that the same sex part of my sexual nature is attracted towards boys, those from a couple of years either side of puberty, say 11 to 15 for round figures. This isn't something I'm especially proud of, but, equally, it isn't something I'm deeply ashamed of either (especially as I've never acted on my impulses, beyond reading online fiction & fantasising about it) - it's just part of me, and has been since I was in my early teens myself, finding out about sex, myself and the interactions between those topics. I know in making this 'confession', I'm probably setting myself up to be shot by both sides, but I feel the need for honesty at this point in my life, and I've got no-one I can realistically talk to IRL, so I'll just have to take the risk of whispering into the void and see what, if any, echoes I elicit.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

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