A comment at work this morning, by my friend, our shift manager, at that, left me almost weeping with frustration. He, no doubt, thought it a mere throwaway, as he mentioned that his older son was off visiting his long-distance girlfriend (they met on holiday earlier this year, and she lives 200+ miles north of London), and what they might get up to. If I'm being honest, my feelings weren't anything other than jealousy - not towards the boy (who, in all honesty, is pretty much a young man now, 16 in three months time and right at the very top end of my AoA) but towards the girl for being with the sort of person I'd give my eye teeth for. Once I'd calmed down and stopped gritting my teeth, it didn't take long to realise the futility of it all - there wouldn't the slightest chance of the boy being with me even if he was exclusively gay, but, more than that, there is hardly any chance beyond the infinitesimal that any boy would ever be with me. As I've said more than once before, 'never' is the most terrifying word in the dictionary. But 'never' is very, very close to being what I have to live with. Forever.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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