Somebody, somewhere seems to have been absolutely determined that I shouldn't go to work last night. When this week's roster was originally published, I was shown as being on leave for one night, which I certainly hadn't applied for and didn't want. The error was quickly corrected, but, ironically, when I woke up late yesterday afternoon, I soon realised that I couldn't go to work, and rang in sick, basically because I was, for all practical purposes, deaf. My right ear had been clogged up and sore all week, but when its opposite number 'joined the party', that was the 'coup de grace'. I've evidently picked up some kind of infection, and have spent today liberally dosing myself with eardrops, which have begun to work, so I'll be back in harness tomorrow night.
The second part of my current malaise, though, is almost certainly incurable. This morning, I tangentially came across a story, new to me but not particularly recent, one all too familiar from my perspective, of a man sentenced to 35 years in jail for a loving, consensual, long-term relationship with a boy who happened to be under that arbitrary age of consent I rail against. 35 years. I doubt he'd have received such a sentence if he'd raped and murdered the boy, it's disproportionate beyond belief. Then, to turn my deep sadness at the couple's fate into something much more akin to depression, I saw, while I was out on a brief shopping trip at lunchtime, a beautiful boy of around the same age as the jailed man's YF, even if there were no other obvious similarities. The knowledge that even if such a boy wanted to have a relationship with me, the potential consequences for him if any such liaison came to light would render it impossible is soul-destroying. It's not exactly news, but knowing that 'society' doesn't just want to punish you, but wants to completely destroy your life and that of any boy who might be able to bring you happiness makes it so difficult to carry on sometimes.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
The second part of my current malaise, though, is almost certainly incurable. This morning, I tangentially came across a story, new to me but not particularly recent, one all too familiar from my perspective, of a man sentenced to 35 years in jail for a loving, consensual, long-term relationship with a boy who happened to be under that arbitrary age of consent I rail against. 35 years. I doubt he'd have received such a sentence if he'd raped and murdered the boy, it's disproportionate beyond belief. Then, to turn my deep sadness at the couple's fate into something much more akin to depression, I saw, while I was out on a brief shopping trip at lunchtime, a beautiful boy of around the same age as the jailed man's YF, even if there were no other obvious similarities. The knowledge that even if such a boy wanted to have a relationship with me, the potential consequences for him if any such liaison came to light would render it impossible is soul-destroying. It's not exactly news, but knowing that 'society' doesn't just want to punish you, but wants to completely destroy your life and that of any boy who might be able to bring you happiness makes it so difficult to carry on sometimes.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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