I escaped from my latest half week of nights this morning, and I've spent most of what has been a rather nice early spring day taking advantage of the fact. The weekend, though, was a somewhat more difficult proposition, albeit not without some positives. I tripped over a quite breathtakingly beautiful boy on my way to work on Friday, 11/12, blond, high cheekbones, slightly more androgynous than would normally be to my taste, but desirable enough to overcome any such reservations. But, of course, another 'ghost', flitting through my life for a bare fifteen minutes before disappearing onto a different platform at the station where we both changed trains. Gone forever.
Then Saturday morning, and my Sainters' first game of the AFL season, with high hopes of a successful year. Except it all went to shit. Being a St Kilda fan has always entailed embracing disappointment, but I can remember very few more disappointing, given the context, displays than Saturday's. It was only Round 1, so I guess I should tone down the melodrama, but it was pretty hard to swallow.
Brighter things, both literally and figuratively, 24 hours later, though, as the clocks went forward, and the light evenings returned. Nothing seems to abolish winter more thoroughly than it still being light close to 8:00 in the evening.
But the internal darkness still won't go away - more boys today, both on my travels, and more recently in the pub, with the usual inner turmoil, how can I live without them, but how could I live with myself if I succumbed to temptation. The maze without a solution, as ever.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Then Saturday morning, and my Sainters' first game of the AFL season, with high hopes of a successful year. Except it all went to shit. Being a St Kilda fan has always entailed embracing disappointment, but I can remember very few more disappointing, given the context, displays than Saturday's. It was only Round 1, so I guess I should tone down the melodrama, but it was pretty hard to swallow.
Brighter things, both literally and figuratively, 24 hours later, though, as the clocks went forward, and the light evenings returned. Nothing seems to abolish winter more thoroughly than it still being light close to 8:00 in the evening.
But the internal darkness still won't go away - more boys today, both on my travels, and more recently in the pub, with the usual inner turmoil, how can I live without them, but how could I live with myself if I succumbed to temptation. The maze without a solution, as ever.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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