Thursday 9 July 2015

There's only me left, now

Or so it seems, after a post I read just over an hour ago. The only one from our happy, friendly little corner of cyberspace that imploded nearly five years ago who's still bloody-minded enough to carry on here in Blogland. And imploded is the right word, the exact word, because the centre of that world proved to be a vacuum, devoid of anything it purported to be. Over the last little while, I've thought of so many things I wanted to say, but most of them can't be said, even pseudonymously, because of the effect they might have on others, and on one person in particular. The one I've always cared for, far more than anyone else in cyberspace. Even saying that is probably too much, and I'm sorry if it's misconstrued in any way. But I really did care, and I still do. Not that my sentiments will ever help, not one iota. But they are genuine, I promise.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

4 comments:

  1. I get you, Sammy. 100%, I get you. The same for me. Bloody hell, he's gone - but perhaps only for a while - he does keep resurfacing! But he does count you amongst his friends, so don't lose contact. Email him. Let him know he's not forgotten. He will respond. He has to me between his blog postings.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Hello Jay
      I was pretty emotional last night, but David's unexpected reply to me on his own blog certainly made me feel better about things. Even so, looking around the cyberscape, figuratively speaking, and seeing no-one left but me is sad and disheartening.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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  2. Dear Sammy

    I know I'm a relative newcomer to your little corner of cyberspace, but I do read with interest your postings. Quite often you echo thoughts I'm having. For example: "I've thought of so many things I wanted to say, but most of them can't be said . . . "

    I've lost count of the times I've gone to my blog recently, fully intending to get something off my chest, spending half an hour or more typing away, only to end up deleting it all, rather than placing myself, or others, at risk. I sometimes wonder if it's even worth having a blog these days. The one good thing that has come out of it, was finding your page, and the pages of a few other "kindred spirits".

    I've only recently discovered Davids' blog, and have quite a bit of catching up to do, but I will miss his posts. Obviously, I don't know the whole story, but he seems to have had a tough time in life so far. I wish him much happiness and success for the future, and hope he will find time for the occasional update.

    Warmest regards - Dave

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    Replies
    1. Hello Dave
      What happened in Summer 2010 is rather convoluted, but the short version is that the blog that was at the centre of a little 'community' that had begun to develop proved to be, effectively, complete fiction. David, DJ as he called himself at the time, was the youngest of those involved, and was by far the most deeply affected by the deceit, for reasons that are obvious if you read his current blog, and even more so if, like me, you were around at the time of the disintegration of it all.
      I can certainly relate to the experience of writing posts about 'controversial' issues, only to delete them because of trepidation about what 'they', the faceless 'other', might think or do. I really do try these days, though, not to succumb to the fear and paranoia. It isn't easy, and probably never will be, but, as I've said before, I certainly didn't choose to be a boylover, so I don't see why I should apologise for what I am. What I do, though, is absolutely my responsibility, and, as far as I'm concerned, the only thing I should be judged on.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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