K's first visit to the flat has had, shall we say, a mixed outcome. She liked what will become her home in around three months time, a relief for me, because it would've been gravely embarrassing if she'd hated the place, and she quickly found her way to the local McDonald's, ten minutes walk away. When I got in from work this morning, though, it was immediately apparent that there were issues that needed to be addressed, so, when K eventually dragged herself out of bed at 11:30, address them I did. Anyone who knows me will be aware that I'm not some kind of obsessive 'neat freak', but I'd already made it clear to K that I have no ambition at all to live in squalor, so to find K's crockery and sundries just dumped in the kitchen sink didn't go down well at all. To some extent, it was a case of K inadvertently hitting a raw nerve, because I spent more years than I care to recall tidying up after her mother, but, as (I hope) I made abundantly clear to K this morning, I have no intention of going back to being a skivvy. It all ended amicably, with K saying she wants our household to work as much as I do, and with our sharing a hug. My girl went back to Cornwall early this afternoon, because she wanted to sort her room out preparatory to a friend of hers staying over, and I've just spoken to her to confirm she'd got back in one piece, and that we're still friends, which seems to be the case, so all's well that ends well, as cliché-mongers like me tend to say!
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I do think this speaks highly of your upbringing of K over the years. She's a teenager now, and likely to be occasionally thoughtless, and perhaps try to push a limit now and then. But dad reacted properly, without an overreaction which would have elicited a totally different response from K, I expect. I bet you'll have to remind her again, though, knowing teenagers as I do! But you do have to be prepared to find dainties hanging in the loo, and shoes everywhere but on the mat by the door! Well done, Daddio!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteIt was just a case of talking to K as an equal, something I've done for years, and of explaining my reasoning. Even when she was very young, I always tried my utmost to avoid the 'do/don't do x, y or z' syndrome, rather saying 'do/don't do because' whatever I perceived the reason to be. As you suggest, I doubt it's the last time I'll have a difference of opinion with K, but, hopefully, we'll be able to deal with any hiccups that do arise in as civilised a fashion as we did yesterday.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B