Home

I've spent the past day and a half at home, and will probably be doing much the same for the next day and a half, trying to recuperate from the infection I've had and get myself back into some reasonable working order. Up to now, it's only been minimally successful, and has led me, as is my wont, to consider my priorities in life.
I like our home, it's not luxurious by any means, but it's much better than many other people, even in a relatively affluent country like the UK, have to contend with. The problem is that it's very expensive for us to keep the mortgage and other payments going, in relation to our income. I know that I'm far from being unique in being in such a position, but I do wonder at times whether it's all worthwhile. I've spent well over 30 years working full-time, and, if overtime shifts are taken into account (say against a 40 hour week), I've probably, at a conservative estimate, worked an extra 5 years' worth of shifts on top of what I've been obliged to do. And for what? To carry on paying, month after month, year after year, bills which seem to do nothing but fuel the astronomical profits of the various financial institutions, and the associated obscene salaries and bonuses of some of their staff. Maybe it's just jealousy, but to watch such things going on while I seem to be spending my life and health to subsidise it all is, at times, very frustrating, to put it mildly.
And the next step, of course, is for me to have to spend so much time away from this home I enjoy to be able to carry on living in it. If that isn't irony, I don't know what is. There are days when I just feel like dropping out of the rat race, and I guess this is one of them, but no doubt my exaggerated sense of duty, particularly to my family, will kick in again soon, and I'll get over my frustrations. I don't, short of sentencing my family to eviction, have very much choice.
On a much happier note, Tman's post of yesterday was very uplifting - it's never too late, at least for some, to be yourself. Would that I could join him, but, again, all of those doors in my life, except the one marked 'Disaster' are locked.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B