Yesterday's post was just the sort of thing which led me to pull the plug on the blog - temporarily, as it's proven - at the end of March. Public exhibitions of worthless self-pity. I really wanted to avoid returning to that kind of behaviour, but it seems that I can't resist. I'll have to redouble my efforts to restrain myself. Please don't hesitate to admonish me if I do it again.
If I let self-pity become my ruling emotion, I'm going to end up either bitter, twisted and even more unpleasant to know than hitherto, or I'm going to end up spiralling down to doing something stupidly self-destructive. I genuinely want - at least, I think and hope I do - to avoid those eventualities, to find a way to pull something from the wreckage of my previous life, to find a way forward, even if I haven't yet got much of an idea of how I could do that. It is worth the effort, though, I have to believe that, or I'll be consumed by despair.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I do understand, Sammy. It's easy to do that. You're in a hamster wheel and there's no end in sight. I hope that once the immediate home life issues sort themselves, you'll be able to work on the rest! One day, one step at a time, friend!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't so much seem like a hamster wheel, as a circular tunnel, where I keep trying to plod forward, but keep being faced with the same dark scene all the while. I'm still trying to find the escape hatch, though.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B