Saturday 30 June 2012

Dyw genes, Kernow

Although I desperately, desperately hope it's only going to be au revoir. For all practical purposes, I've moved today, leaving Cornwall after twelve years, three weeks and a day. I said, a number of years ago, that if I was ever forced to leave Cornwall, I'd never go back, even for a day trip, because seeing what I'd lost would just be too painful, but the circumstances of my leaving haven't been anything like any I'd envisaged. I didn't look back as I was crossing 'the bridge' at around 2:15 this afternoon but that was largely because I was driving (my wife's car, en route to dropping my daughter off at her drama school, and me at the station to head up to Surrey). I did look in the rear view mirror, though, several times, seeing what I'd expected to be my home for the rest of my life disappearing like a mirage over the horizon.
Over the previous 24 hours, I'd done a round trip by car to my new 'home', moving a relatively small amount of stuff - I've left far more behind than I've taken, certainly, not least because I just haven't got the room to store very much. My daughter did the trip with me, ostensibly to give me a hand, but more for moral support, really, and that was the only saving grace I can draw from it.
The latter part of the train trip back had its own saving grace, though - I actually had a more than passably cute boy, 12/13-ish, sitting next to me, at least partially voluntarily, in that on the busy train we were on, there were alternative seats he could have chosen, albeit not many, for fifteen minutes or so until the crowds began to dissipate at the various stops en route and he moved to sit with his adult companion (grandfather, probably, given their relative ages) when a suitable space became available. And he even smiled and said 'thank you' when he got up! As if I would have turned him away!

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

4 comments:

  1. It sort of amazes me how well you seem to be taking this drastic change in your life situation. I don't think I would do nearly as well. I would have been hard pressed I think to see anything positive about it, no matter who chose to sit next to me.

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  2. Hello Brian
    Appearances can be deceptive. I'm really struggling, much of the time, with the sense of loss and rejection. But if I give up to despair, there isn't much doubt where it would be likely to lead. So I'll try and take heart from the small positives as far as I can.

    Love & best wishes
    Sammy B

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  3. I know that trip was awful, Sammy, and I can't imagine how you are getting through this. It's great that your daughter went along, I'm sure the extra time with her was special.

    Keep your chin up, mate, and keep faith that things will improve.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Hello Jay
      The trip was pretty grim, and that's putting it mildly. As you suggest, spending the time with my daughter sugared the pill a little, although the knowledge that I'm not going to see that much of her in the foreseeable future muddied even that little pool of 'clear water'. I keep trying to tell myself that the only way is up - sadly, though, I'm not making a very good job of convincing myself at the moment.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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