Tuesday 6 October 2015

Paranoia creeping up, again

I called in my local for a few liquid anaesthetics on my way back from work, as is my wont. All congenial enough, until it got better - a lot better. Cameron came in with his parents, the family sitting three or four tables away from me. The boy didn't see me for ten minutes or so, but when he did, he smiled and waved. I responded in kind, of course, and I was thrilled to bits, in the moment. But when I left, shortly afterwards - another 'stupid o'clock' beckons in the morning - tendrils of paranoia started to wrap themselves around me. My 'relationship', such as it is, with Cameron has, hitherto, been one of secret little smiles and the odd quiet exchange of 'Hi' and 'Bye'. I can't imagine, though, that his waving to me is the sort of thing that will go unnoticed by his parents for very long. Given his age, I wouldn't be in the least surprise if the first thing that came into their mind was my second least favourite word in the torturously misused English language - 'grooming'. The fact that I don't know his surname, where he lives, where he goes to school, that he doesn't know my name or that I've never seen him anywhere other than in the pub, and have no expectation of that situation changing, wouldn't cross their minds. Man interacting, even minimally, with an unrelated boy = predator. No shades of grey allowed. K thought I was being unduly pessimistic when I mentioned it to her after I got home. I hope she's right. I wouldn't stake my very meagre life savings on it, though.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

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