Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, given the disintegration of my life in the last few months, but surprised I was. I was in for yet another twelve hour shift at work today, and for the most part, it was routine, if seemingly interminable. The last half hour, though, led to me leaving the building absolutely seething, and, on the journey back, I was really questioning whether I ever want to set foot in the place again. And I didn't even do anything wrong, but simply did something someone else didn't like, and decided to react to. Sounds familiar. Sounds just like my marriage, or its demise. It underlined to me how close to the edge I am, how little it might take to induce me to just walk away from everything. Life included.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Oh boy, Sammy, this is getting serious. I do wish you'd look into getting some professional help. There has to be a way to learn to cope with all this sh!t that's falling down around your ears, and a pro could probably help you find it. I'm worried, friend. Wish I could do more than offer virtual ***HUGS***
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteWork has been the one point of stability in all that's been going on, but what happened last night has left me with very mixed feelings. There's a part of me that wants to hang onto the routine, but another part that just wants to disappear, and try and leave all the crap behind. Rationally, though, it probably wouldn't work - after all, the one person you can't run away from is yourself.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B