Whither goest thou?

This will probably sound like a continuation of yesterday's post, but it isn't, really. I was in the kitchen at my accommodation a short while ago, when the thought struck me that I simply don't want to carry on doing the job that I'm doing. It was odd, more like the realisation of the end of a relationship than a career issue, a sort of 'I've fallen out of love' moment. The practicalities aren't so straightforward, though. The obvious main issue is money. If I do pull the plug on what I've been doing since I was a teenager, how am I going to live? Is it possible for someone to reinvent themselves at 52, with virtually no experience of doing anything other than working in the industry that I do? The idea of writing appeals to me, but given the response, or perhaps more accurately, the almost total lack of response to Nephelokokkygia, it seems that I would be the only one the idea would appeal to. OK, I'm well aware that much of the stuff I've posted in the other blog concentrates on a subject area the vast majority of people find outrightly offensive, and that even the few who might be slightly more receptive wouldn't want to make that receptiveness public, for their own safety, if nothing else. I've tried from time to time to venture into other topics, other genres, but the boys are always in the forefront of my mind, waiting to entice me back to telling their stories, and, to some extent mine, if only in a fantasy context. 'All fiction is autobiography' is a bit of a cliché, but something being a cliché doesn't necessarily make it untrue. That said, to have any realistic expectation of publishing anything I write, I would have to find a way to come up with a different kind of story. And that, hitherto, is where it has largely fallen down.
So, where from here? In the short term, back to work tomorrow morning, I guess, but I have had a look online to see if a more congenial place might be available, at least in terms of somewhere to live - I found a really nice furnished one bedroom flat with a super view over a very nice bit of South East Cornwall, in the place I identified, right at the start of the disintegration of my life nearly six months ago, as the one I'd feel most at home in. Maybe....but, given my lack of adventurousness, maybe not.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B