Friday, 31 August 2012

The last day of summer

Meteorologically speaking, at least. I still subscribe to the old-fashioned version, that autumn doesn't start until September 21, and I hope today's reasonably nice weather lasts one more day, because I'm planning to go 'eye candy hunting', again, tomorrow afternoon. It's the last weekend of the school holidays, so some nice weather might bring the cuties out of hiding, with any luck. Vicarious thrills, as ever, but better than nothing.
I could do with a bit of cheering up, too - well, more than usual, I know I've been a relentlessly miserable sod for months - because another batch of divorce paperwork arrived yesterday. I'm becoming more resigned to the inevitability of the process than I was a few months ago, but I still hate every minute of it. In some ways, I wish I could make myself fall out of love with my wife, but I just can't. And, to judge by precedent, I never will. After all, I've never fallen out of love with anyone I've genuinely loved before, even the ones who've hurt me. This is the worst of all, though - I know it's all my fault, reaping the fruits of not being honest, even with myself, but losing what I've lost has broken my heart. The knowledge that there will never, in any reasonably conceivable circumstances, be anything to mitigate that loss just makes matters worse.
The last day of summer, but my emotional winter continues unabated.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

2 comments:

  1. It's the last weekend of summer for our kids - school starts on Tuesday. My summer was spent in the UK, everything else was work. I haven't even visited my family since last May.

    I remember my first trip over there. I was in the shopping area across from Windsor Castle about the time some local boys' school let out. It was a very enjoyable 15 minutes or so of parading boys, usually in groups of 3 or 4, uniforms in various states of "loose".

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Hello Jay
      I've had my little trip up to London this afternoon, and seen a few pleasant sights, most notably a pair of of (probably) twins, blond and Nordic looking, very nice to see. Hopelessly out of reach, though, as ever.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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