I've just seen my daughter off at the station, on her way back to Cornwall. It's unlikely, unless something unexpected happens, that I'll see her again this year. I suggested that she could come and stay with me at Christmas, but she's made it clear she doesn't want to. She might well be going to another meet-up with her internet friends on December 27, though, so it's obviously a case of knowing my place, and my significance to her. Much the same as her mother, really, keep my nose to the grindstone and keep the money rolling in, at least until the financial vultures get their grasping hands on it, or I drop dead, or both. And, at the risk of sounding revoltingly selfish, what do I get? Fuck all. As per usual. What the fuck do I carry on doing it for? Self-sacrifice is one thing, self-immolation is quite another.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Daughters (and sons) start to push away about this age. I know I did. But she's still your loving daughter, even if daddy isn't her first choice of holiday sleepovers! But she'll be off for quite a while, you ought to be able to fit in a visit somewhere in there. I hope so.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI guess I was sad to see her go, and rather cross with disappointment, when I wrote this. Of course she's her own person, that's something I, and to a lesser extent her mother, have tried to encourage for years. Between her schedule and mine, though, there's no telling when I'll see her again, and that's something I find hard to come to terms with.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B