And it is

Unbearable, that is. I've tried it before, tried to write fiction or poetry to attempt to exorcise the demons born of my sexuality and of how that sexuality has virtually destroyed my life, but it never works. Today has been no exception. A lovely sunny late autumn day, my only day off in three and a half weeks, out and about, to be faced with a positive cavalcade of delightful boys. None of whom will ever be mine. Ever. Then memories, once more, of my former next door neighbour in Cornwall, and how he could, just fleetingly, have been 'my boy', had I not been too scared of the implications, the consequences. Then finding a story, not even new, of those consequences, should you act and be discovered - and of what the world thinks of you as a result. My....life....is....fucking....unbearable. The sooner I'm rid of it, the better.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B