Thursday, 12 November 2015

Too much?

I've finally got to the end of my run of 23 shifts in 24 days, the last 11 of them earlies, meaning that I haven't got up later than 4:15 any day in more than a week and a half. And I have to say that I can barely remember ever being more tired than I am now. When I went back to work after my seven weeks on the sick (including three in hospital) two and a half years ago, I was determined to work no overtime at all, but that soon went out of the window when it became clear that K wanted to move up here, and that failure of resolution has snowballed into my working almost as many hours as I did in the first year or so after my marriage broke up. Which only ended when I was ambulanced off to the general hospital near 'domicile-ville'. Could my health, such as it is, break down again? I wouldn't necessarily bet against it, if I carry on as I have been. But, on the other side, there's K's university career, if all goes according to plan, to come in just a few months' time, which will undoubtedly swallow huge amounts of money. And the only person who can come up with that money is me. Do I carry on, can I carry on, running myself into the ground, or do I, potentially, fail in my responsibility to my daughter, by far the most important person in my life? As in so much of my life, there are no easy answers.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

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