Thursday 15 November 2012

Falling out of love

Or not, as the case may be. I woke 90 minutes or so ago from a dream of my ex-wife, a dream in which we had reconciled and were about to remarry. It will never happen in actuality, in any foreseeable circumstances, but it's illustrative of what's going on in my subconscious. I wish, in a way, that I could fall out of love with her, because it would make the process of adjustment to my new situation so much easier, but I just can't. It's hardly a surprise, though - as I might have said somewhere before, I've never really fallen out of love with any of the people in my life I've had strong feelings towards, so the fact that the person who had meant the most, for the longest time, in my life is still embedded so deeply in my psyche is pretty predictable, in all honesty.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

4 comments:

  1. I've fallen out of love (if it really was love) once in my life, and I'm so glad I did. But I do understand what you are saying. I don't know how to recover from that, even when you want to.
    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Hello Jay
      Evidence from my past, as well as my present, suggests that I don't know how to do it - even the couple of people in my life who have been really hurtful to me, probably deliberately in one case, still have their place in my heart. Another case of the 'no easy answers syndrome', I guess.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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    2. Hello Sammy. I can say that before I met Ron I had a few "loves" that I felt were to last a life time. Sadly they did not.

      I still remember those good times and dream of them, even though in the end it did not last. I remember them fondly.

      I can only hope that this change in your life will let you explore other sides of your nature, to indulge in your desires that will bring you happiness. Perhaps you will find a young adult who will bring you happiness and make your world more complete than it has been.

      either way, I am sorry for the loss you now feel and I am hopeful for your future. Hugs

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    3. Hello Scottie
      I still don't really have much idea of 'where I go from here'. I'm sorry things have gone the way that they have, and the fact that what I really want is so anathema to society makes it all the more difficult. I'm still here, though, not something I would necessarily have said was a given a few months back, so who knows what might emerge from the wreckage?

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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