As Max Quordlepleen said in 'The Restaurant at the End of the Universe' "at the risk of putting a damper on the wonderful sense of doom and futility here", the implications of tomorrow have been on my mind. If I don't get the job I'm being interviewed for, we'll probably be lurching towards financial oblivion, whereas if I do get the job, I'm going to be away from home for something like 38 weeks a year for an indefinite period. No pressure there, then. The interview itself and my own sense of my capability to do the job, not wishing to seem immodest, isn't a problem - whatever issues I have doubts about, my professional competence isn't one of them. It's just a case of seeing what happens, I guess.
On top of that, I managed to mess with my mind in a big way earlier today by trying and enjoying something I'd never done or thought I wanted to do before - it only involved me, and no illegal substances or activities, I hasten to add - but it made me wonder very seriously about what I actually do want in my life now, and whether I'm in a relationship under false pretences. I'm the one who's got to work that out in the first instance, of course, and then decide what, if anything, to do about it, but I doubt if evasion will work indefinitely.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I hope the interview goes good. Being away from home that much is a bummer but better than financial oblivion.
ReplyDeleteMan, you are bad about throwing out teasers. What in the world could you possibly be talking about that you tried and enjoyed for the first time, and that might cause major changes in your life? My imagination is going all over the place but I don't dare to make guesses. Some of them would be embarrassing. It's not nice to lead us on this way!
Hello Brian
ReplyDeleteEmbarrassment and the fact that I haven't properly got my head round things yet are the reasons for my circumlocution. Sorry if you thought I was being a deliberate tease - I'm a bit on the literal-minded side for that.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hi there, Sammy
ReplyDeleteLike Brian, I think, I'm a mass of frustrated curiosity about your "trying and enjoying". I don't think you need feel embarrassed about it, whatever it is: I think it's a very safe bet that someone else also enjoys it, has blogged about it, and posted a video of themselves doing it. If it will help the working out and deciding process, you could always talk about it here; or, if you'd prefer to be more private, please feel free to e-mail me (address on my profile).
*hugs*
Mark
Hello Mark
ReplyDeleteYou're absolutely right about what happened yesterday being fairly commomplace in the overall scheme of things, but, as part of my life, it's something whose implications I'm still working through. Once I've got my head round it all, I'll hopefully be able to come up with a less opaque post. It won't be tonight though - I've only recently got back from a 450-odd mile round trip in the car for my interview (all being well, I'll post about that tomorrow), and I feel like a wet rag! Thank you for your kind offer of e-mail contact - it goes without saying that the same offer is open to you.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Or is that commonplace?!
ReplyDeleteSB