I'm in one of those moods that comes upon me from time to time, sitting in front of the computer keyboard, feeling that I want to write something, but not really knowing what. It's not as if I haven't discussed the issues that I find important in my life, fifty times over, I guess, pretty much ad nauseum, really. My life situation doesn't change substantively from day to day, not least because I don't engage in many activities, if any, that might facilitate such a change. The news of the day is that there is no news, because all I've done is work, staying on this morning to cover the first part of an early shift after one of my colleagues rang in sick, sleep, do my washing and cook myself a meal. Hardly earth shattering stuff. Routine. One of those insignificant, forgettable days, that make up many people's lives, I suppose, not just mine. It seems such a waste, really, given how pitifully short, in absolute terms, human lives are, that so many of our limited supply of days are taken up by nothing more than the mechanistic process of everyday life, and for what? To earn enough money to repeat the same, vapid experience tomorrow, next week, next month, next year. In those terms, it seems like a circular argument, a pointless exercise. But how to break the cycle, and make life more worthwhile, or at least to give the impression of being more worthwhile? I don't have the answer, because if I had, I would enact it. Or would I? Risk aversion is almost an instinct. Cling to the familiar, even if for no reason other than that it is familiar. Safe. The anodyne low road, but still a road that leads to the grave, ultimately.
The question is not just what to say, but what to do? The problem is that I don't know.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Ought to find a gym and start working out! I didn't think I'd like it one but, and it's still somewhat of a struggle sometimes to just get there, but making progress towards feeling a hell of a lot better physically is a pretty decent reward.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI'm sure your advice is full of good sense, but, sorry, never in a million years! Between my hiccuping heart and the (possibly imagined) humiliation, it's just a non-starter for me. I still do my minimum 40 minutes walking every working day, as part of my commute, often more, so, given that I seem to work six days a week on average, I'm getting at least a moderate amount of exercise.
This post was more about existential stuff, I suppose, without wishing to sound wildly pretentious, quo vadis, and all that. What I think I need is what my daughter has described some of her recent activities as - an adventure. Not necessarily BASE jumping or white water rafting, but something that takes me out of my comfort zone. Having said that, one or two of the 'adventures' that have come to mind might get me into trouble, so, even if I get out of that 'comfort zone', I'll need to stay within the bounds of common sense.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B