There's been quite a bit of national news coverage of a case in Scotland of a 4 year old boy who was sexually assaulted in a supermarket toilet a few days ago, and the news today was of an arrest in the case. Of a 19 year old. I feel very sorry for the little boy, having had something inflicted on him that should never have happened, but I feel almost equally sorry that he will now, I have little doubt, be traumatised further by the processes he will be swallowed up by, the assumption that he is now 'damaged goods', and needs to be 'mended'.
And, less politically correctly, I feel sorry for the young man accused of the assault, even if he is guilty. He's little more, realistically, than a boy himself, but his life, or large parts of it, will effectively be over. If convicted, he'll be an RSO for life, in all probablility, which will greatly restrict his access to education and employment, will determine where he can go, who he can meet, even whether he's allowed to use the internet or not. and that's always assuming some self-appointed 'vigilante' doesn't take matters into their own hands. I'm not suggesting that, if guilty, he hasn't done wrong, but does an effective life sentence - or maybe even death sentence - for what might have been one unguarded moment as a teenager constitute 'a punishment fitting the crime'? There are no easy answers in this kind of case, despite the inevitable kneejerk reactions it will elicit, and I don't have any better a solution than anyone else. All I can offer is my sympathy. To both parties.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I think there's a rather large difference between loving boys old enough to at least understand what being gay is, and a four year old. If were a 5 year old he was playing with, that's one thing, but I'm sorry, a 19 year old should 1) know better, and 2) no matter his preferences, this is very, very wrong, and while a "life sentence" is bad, the reality is that no one really knows if you can rehabilitate someone who preys on children like this. This isn't misguided boylove, this is rape and assault of a child.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI seem to have given a misleading impression, namely that I think that what happened to this little boy was anything other than 100% wrong. There's no way at all I would condone what, if he's proven guilty, this young man has done, nor do I think, after conviction, that he shouldn't be punished. Nor do I believe incidents like this have any connection whatsoever to boylove - boylove, from my perspective, requires consent, and, as you rightly say, there's no possibility that a child as young as the boy involved would have the mental architecture in place to be able to give that consent.
That being said, though, I still have grave reservations about a punitive regime that will potentially affect this young man until the day he dies. Certainly, if he is/was a serial, intractable predator, then measures need to be put in place to protect anyone who might be at risk, but if this is a one-off, out of character case of a young person impulsively succumbing to temptation - and how many of us, at 17/18/19, haven't fallen foul of such impulsivity, albeit that in most cases the impulses have less serious consequences - is justice served by the passing of a sentence that could be more draconian than if he'd actually murdered the child? That is why, as I said in the post, while my heart goes out to the child, I have sympathy for the teenager as well.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hello Sammy. I congratulate you on taking on this hard subject. I have been trying to bring so sense to the subject on my own blog. Also it shows great character to care for / about those who's actions make it harder to care about them.
ReplyDeleteWe all agree that sexual assault at any age is wrong and hard to deal with. We all care deeply about the little boy. This goes with out saying. However several things need to be made clear I think. I do not know what kind of assault took place, but there is a difference between a boy having his butt touched through his pants, or seeing a persons body parts, or even being touched, or being tortured and raped. Each of these things are bad, but some are decidedly worse than others, and the punishments and responses need to be appropriate to the actions committed.
To me that is the big point. Too much has been lumped in together, one size fits all sort of thing. The fact is we need to have laws that let judges take into account all the variables, all the things that need to be considered, and tailor the response, the punishments and corrective actions to what happened.
Not all molestation are the same, not all molesters are the same. Not all punishments should be the same. I feel that every chance has to be given to let people turn their lives around, to become productive members of our society. I do not like the idea of throwing anyone away. I know there are those who can't be released into society due to the threat they are to the safety and well being of others. However it is well documented that the recidivism rate is much less for sexual crimes than for things like murder or arson or even burglary. That shows that people can be rehabilitated, that what ever made the first offence happen can be corrected and controlled.
Thanks for letting me vent a git. I hope all is well for you. Hugs
Hello Scottie
DeleteI don't know any of the details of the case beyond what has been in the news, including what, exactly, was done to the little boy, and while the severity of the assault obviously needs to drive the response, the general principle, of my sympathy for both, still holds. Rape is a crime that fills me with horror, irrespective of the age or gender of the victim, but even if things went that far, I'm still not willing to 'dehumanise' the offender, heartfelt as my sympathy would be for the boy.
As I said in the post, there are no easy answers, but I agree with you that each case should be judged individually, and not lumped into some kind of 'catch-all' process. There are, I suspect, as many reasons for this kind of offence as there are offenders. Everyone, ultimately, is an individual, who have all followed their own distinct path to the point where self-control breaks down. The system needs to recognise that.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B