I read a passage in an online story this morning which struck a chord with me. The story, as much, if not more, about love rather than sex, is based around the relationship between an adult, but youngish man (late twenties) and an 'almost legal' fifteen and a half year old. The scene which caught my attention was set in a gay bar (not in the UK, and legal, by local laws, for the younger guy to attend) where the 'adult lead' referred to many of the clientele being obviously hostile towards him because of the age of his partner. The reasons given are uncomplicated, and lifted, in my experience, straight from real life - some gays hate boylovers, almost more than many straight people do, because they're afraid of being tarred with the same brush, the ridiculous 'all gays are paedophiles' and/or 'all paedophiles are gay' memes. What it means for me on a personal level, though, is that one outlet I might have, at least in a social sense, is denied me, because the idea of walking into some gay get-together, and saying to anyone 'I've known I'm gay for forty-odd years, but I've never been attracted to a man in my life' is simply too terrifying to contemplate.
This exposition of current attitudes reminded me of something else, which I've thought more than once of blogging about, and which I think fits here. When I was growing up, there was a local businessman, getting on in years, in my home town, who was widely rumoured to 'like little boys', as the turn of phrase went in that era. The odd thing is, though, that he was seen as a figure of fun, with people sniggering about him, rather than the focus of hatred, if not vigilantism, that he undoubtedly would be today. In fact, when he was 11 or 12, my brother was allowed, on his own, to go to the man's house to pick up some second-hand cricket gear my parents had bought for him, even though my mum, in particular, was very strait-laced about anything even vaguely sexual. An interesting sidelight on how attitudes change as the years progress - and not always for the better, as far as I'm concerned.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
This exposition of current attitudes reminded me of something else, which I've thought more than once of blogging about, and which I think fits here. When I was growing up, there was a local businessman, getting on in years, in my home town, who was widely rumoured to 'like little boys', as the turn of phrase went in that era. The odd thing is, though, that he was seen as a figure of fun, with people sniggering about him, rather than the focus of hatred, if not vigilantism, that he undoubtedly would be today. In fact, when he was 11 or 12, my brother was allowed, on his own, to go to the man's house to pick up some second-hand cricket gear my parents had bought for him, even though my mum, in particular, was very strait-laced about anything even vaguely sexual. An interesting sidelight on how attitudes change as the years progress - and not always for the better, as far as I'm concerned.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I think you are absolutely correct about changing attitudes. Ancient Greeks thought nothing of man-boy relationships, had no word for "homosexual", and of course, corrected interpreted "paedophilia". Now we live in a 'stranger danger", "worst first" world where everyone is an enemy of children, seeking to stalk them and hurt them until properly, over the course of years, vetted as NOT being a threat.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI know this is a subject I've mentioned more than once here, but, as you're aware, it's something I feel strongly about. Even the 'P-word' is a 19th century mongrel, albeit derived from two Greek roots, which, when it was originally coined, had a very narrow meaning, rather than the meaningless catchall (if not generic insult) it's become. The second element of the word, in fact, is derived from the word phileo, which meant an abstract kind of love, an enthusiasm for a subject or object, cognate with the elements in words like philosophy, bibliophile, Anglophile, and so on.
Anyway, less of my being a philological smartass - the main issue here is, as you suggest, is the hysteria this subject currently attracts, and the damage, in my opinion, it does to the lives of many young people, and their prospects for emerging into adulthood as confident, well-balanced individuals, rather than gibbering paranoiacs, scared of their own shadows.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B