More reflections on the 13 year old me, and what I've become. I wish, I wish so much, I could've been braver, dared to be myself. Maybe, then, I wouldn't have completely screwed three lives up, mine, my ex's and my daughter's. The child who never should have been, had I not been such a fucking coward.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I think we all regret some choices made in the past but things work out despite them. I think the world is a better place with the existence of your daughter. Whatever quirk of fate guides our choices made no mistake is causing her to be brought into the world. It’s the one thing you should be proud of.
ReplyDeleteHello
Delete'The one thing' clause in your last sentence, whether deliberate on your part or not, sums up my life pretty succinctly. I love my daughter, and I'm very proud of her, but that doesn't change the fact that she's the result of a series of terrible, cowardly decisions on my part.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hindsight is 20/20. I think the same things over and over. But she isn't the child that shouldn't have been. There's a reason for everything, and for you, something to be very proud of.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteAll I can do is to reiterate what I said to 'anon'. I love K, I'm proud of her, and I want to do my best for her. But the situation that led to her existence shouldn't have happened, and all three of us are living with the legacy of my decisions.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B