Sunday 17 August 2014

I see a pattern emerging

I went into work this morning, to do an overtime shift - money for old rope, if I'm being honest, even if it did mean getting up at 4:20. Rather to my surprise, K rang me just before 8:00, to say that she was off to the seaside, Brighton, to be exact, so I asked her to let me know when she was on her way back, to see if we could meet up somewhere, to eat, or whatever. In the event, she texted me after she'd got back to the flat, to say she was going to order herself a pizza. When I suggested we have a meal together, the disinterest was palpable, even through the medium of SMS. Even when we're both at home together, it seems to be a major effort for her to deign to give me five minutes of 'facetime'. Yeah, fine, she's a teenager, blah, blah, blah. But I spent years, probably most of the second half of my marriage, with her mother making it clear that I was only as good as the contents of my pay packet, and now the same thing seems to be happening again. After looking forward for so many months, and so fervently, to spending some time with my daughter, it looks like my long career of disappointment is going to get longer still. The wages of my cowardice, of being scared to be myself for all those years, turning around to bite me yet again.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

2 comments:

  1. Sooner or later, she will need to patronize the Bank of Dad.

    :-)

    -Andy

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    Replies
    1. Hello Andy
      That's already happened/happening - she wouldn't have got to your side of 'the pond' this summer otherwise, among many other things. That, it seems, is the one thing I can do for her that meets with approval.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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