Tuesday, 28 April 2015

Now or never?

It's my life 
It's now or never 
I ain't gonna live forever 
I just want to live while I'm alive 

I heard this song on Planet Rock earlier on. I'm not a fan of the song or the band, but the lyrics, on this occasion, did strike a chord with me. Tomorrow is the last day I'll be able to honestly claim to be in my early fifties. There's no doubt at all in my mind that I'm well past the halfway point of my life, probably even the three-quarter point. And still I haven't even come close to getting what I want the most. What, really, am I achieving by carrying on in this fashion? What have I got to lose if I finally shake off the straitjacket of societal norms and expectations I've voluntarily imprisoned myself in for so long? A few years of pointless life? That sounds like a feature rather than a bug.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
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5 comments:

  1. Unknown29 April 2015 at 01:00

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY! A bit early, yes, but heartfelt, and now I can't forget! HAHAHAHAHA

    I share most of your feelings. I know my life is near the 3/4 mark if not over it. I wonder just about every day when the heart attack will come, and will my phone be close enough to make a 911 call. Sigh...

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Sammy B29 April 2015 at 09:05

      Hello Jay
      Not quite there yet, in an anniversarial sense - I'm into my last day as a 54 year old - but thank you for the good wishes.
      As far as my overall situation goes, I am, as ever, faced with an unbridgeable dichotomy - if I actively pursue what I want, it's almost certainly going to be at the expense of hurting someone else, directly or indirectly. Is there anything more intractably impossible than being a boylover with a conscience?

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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    2. Sammy B29 April 2015 at 09:14

      On reflection, that last sentence is pure hyperbole - lots of people no doubt find themselves in much worse positions than me - but it is the most difficult issue in my life.

      SB

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  2. WARPed29 April 2015 at 14:00

    Happy Birthday!!! (you young whippersnapper.)

    :-)

    -Andy

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    Replies
    1. Sammy B29 April 2015 at 16:42

      Hello Andy
      Thank you. If age is an attitude of mind, I'll plead guilty to your accusation of youth. If it's a marker of physiological senescence, though, I might have a valid defence!

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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