Sunday 12 April 2015

Tired, and heartstrung

If heartstrung is even a word. Tired definitely is, though, and I fall firmly within its definition. My seventh consecutive early turn today, and I've still got four more to go, to round off a run of 22 days worked out of 23, by the time I finish on Thursday. If I haven't melted into a puddle of pure fatigue before then. I have managed to stay sufficiently compos mentis to go shopping on my way home and cook K and I rather a nice Sunday roast, if I say so myself, though, as well as dealing with some overdue but relatively simple domestic tasks - the cleaning is very much behindhand, though, so I hope the landlord doesn't decide on a impromptu visit!
And those heartstrings. In a moment, outside Charing Cross station on my meandering way back this afternoon. A boy at a bus stop, who took me a good distance away, in both time and space, to another boy. DBJ. Today's boy wasn't really a close lookalike, but there were enough resonances to churn the emotions more than a little (and he was very good looking in his own right, too). In an ideal word, that beautiful boy in a small Cornish town would've been mine, and me his, forever, but ideal worlds, of course, don't exist, and, even more pertinently, beautiful boys do the one thing that boys inevitably do - become men. Handsome men, many of them, but not what I desire. As I've said before, the hallmark, above all others, above even the hatred and contempt of 'society', of being a boylover is to embrace transience. The perfect, but evanescent moment.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

4 comments:

  1. True words...true words...

    I can't figure out how your job expects you to be alert and able to function 100% when you don't get but one day off in 23! That's atrocious!!!

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    Replies
    1. Hello Jay
      Functioning at work is the easy bit - it's the lack of time and energy to do anything else that's the problem. Still, I've almost made it through now - 21 down, one to go - and the benefits have already manifested themselves, in the form of several hundred pounds more than usual landing in my bank account on payday last Friday, and another good haul to come three and a half weeks hence. At least there is a quid pro quo in the situation!

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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  2. I agree, I seem to remember something called "The Working Time Directive" that set out a maximum number of hours one could be forced to work, and also how many hours rest one should take between shifts. I also seem to think it set out a maximum number of consecutive shifts that could be worked before a statutory rest period, (usually 24 hours), had to be taken. But of course, I could be wrong, and many modern contracts of slavery, sorry employment - require you to waive your rights under the directive. Just thinking out loud . . .

    Warmest regards - Dave

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    Replies
    1. Hello Dave
      The culture of the industry I work in has always been one of long hours, and, to be fair, four of this particular run of shifts have been overtime days, so it has been, at least in part, voluntary. That said, we are subject to limits on what we can do, largely brought in after a high profile accident many years ago - we can't work more than 13 days in a row, can't work more than 72 hours in any seven day period, and, where a day off is involved, have to have at least 24 hours plus a shift clear (making a total of 32 in my case, working 8 hour shifts as I do), and this particular three weeks has met all of those criteria. But, yeah, wage slavery, tell me about it!

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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