So, JJ's going to give up his blog. A good thing as well, given the amount of hurt it's caused him, when all he was looking for was friendship and support. Even though I know the chances of anyone concerned reading what I'm about to write are minimal, I hope that all those who sent JJ inappropriate e-mails and comments are thoroughly bloody ashamed of yourselves - you've helped to drive a friendly, kind-hearted, interesting and articulate young person away from blogland, and, not only that, you've hurt an emotionally damaged 14 year old CHILD, who's had quite enough trauma in his life, into the bargain, for the sake of your own gratification. I am aware that the e-mails, etc, are not the only issue involved in JJ giving up his blog now, but that doesn't change the fact that a significant number of adults, who should know better, have behaved quite disgracefully towards this boy.
Many might say that, given that I'm a self-confessed boylover, I've got no right to comment on other people's behaviour, but I have never and would never impose my desires on anyone else, and I would never become involved in any way at all with a young person, even as a platonic friend, unless it was clear to and beyond the point of absolute certainty that the other party was a completely willing participant, and was being treated on completely equal terms.
To make matters worse, this sort of incident gives more ammunition to those who would wish to completely suppress the GLBT 'community' and impose their version of morality on everyone. What's in your head is completely your domain, but as soon as you do anything which in any way impinges on others, even if it is only in cyberspace, then I think it's beholden on you to behave appropriately, and with the best interests of those others in mind.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I am really sorry that JJ got bothered by these few folks who sent him inappropriate emails, and by the one person that was obsessing over him. This was more an MSN problem than a blog problem. I do feel that he is too sensitive to the few negative things he received. This is probably due to his young age and other bad things that have happened in his life. He needs to develop a toughness so he can just get mad rather than upset when he gets something like this. He said himself that he would get 50 positive things that made him feel good but it only took one bad thing to bring him down and make him crash. Hopefully as he ages some he will develop this toughness. Bad people exist everywhere, not just on the Internet. We all have to learn to deal with them.
ReplyDeleteHello Brian
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I'm going to have to disagree with part of what you've said. While dealing with other people and their attitudes, and finding ways and means of reconciling their agendas with your own, is a big part of growing up, I don't think anyone of JJ's age should have to put up with this sort of stuff from adults - 'at the bottom of the page tell me what they would like to do with me'. This is a boy that was raped at the age of 10, bear in mind - I think that qualifies him quite adequately as a graduate of 'The School of Hard Knocks'. I'm disappointed that his blog is not going to be there anymore, it was one of the three that inspired me to begin blogging in the first place, but the most important aspect here, in my opinion, is what JJ wants, and the rest of us should mind our own business.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hi Sammy,
ReplyDeleteI’m not sure what part you disagree with. You are right of course, someone 14 years old shouldn’t have to put up with terrible comments or emails of that sort. But the world is like that: there will always be the fringe element of wackos out there. How does one avoid them? The only way would be to isolate yourself from the world. And I guess that is in a sense what he is doing now, and maybe that is appropriate for someone that age. At some point though, he will have to learn to deal with them and just get mad rather than upset. And that’s what I said, he should age a little before he has to do that. He is just too sensitized right now, probably because of what happened to him in the past.
And of course you are right: it is none of our business. It should only be between JJ and his parents.
Regards,
Brian
Hello Brian
ReplyDeleteWhat I disagreed with was what you said about JJ being over-sensitive. It shouldn't, in my opinion, have been an issue that he should have had to have dealt with at his age, because adults shouldn't have been saying the sort of things that they were saying to him. As he matures, of course he'll have to deal with all sorts of people and make his own decisions about them, and I'm not suggesting for a moment that he should be cocooned, but I can assure you that if people were sending e-mails to my daughter saying the equivalent things that JJ has had to deal with, I'd be looking to do something about it, and she hasn't been abused in the past.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B