....whether, for all our supposed close relationship, my daughter really is all that interested in maintaining links with me after all. There were good practical reasons why she didn't come and visit me while I was in hospital, but it came to light, very reluctantly on her part, when I spoke to her this evening that she's been planning to come to London tomorrow, and when I suggested meeting up, even if only briefly, she didn't show any enthusiasm for seeing me whatsoever. If I'd said I was going to hang around all day, being a 'gooseberry' during her planned meeting with her friend, I could understand her attitude, but she didn't even seem to want to see me for a few minutes at Paddington before she catches her train home. If I really am that much of an embarrassment to her, I wish she'd just tell me, so we could come up with a situation that suited where she wants to be in her life. I know well enough that just because she's the centre of my universe, there's no reason why I should be the centre of hers, and, indeed, I wouldn't want that to be the case, given that I've always tried to encourage her individuality, but I'd rather not have her pretending to care if she doesn't. The conversation ended with her saying she wasn't feeling well, and might not go after all - if she needs to resort to that sort of thing to avoid seeing me, it really might be time for me to let go, and leave her to get on with her life. Not what I would want, but when has what I want ever mattered to anyone close to me?
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sammy, I think your daughter is being a teenager. All parents embarrass their kids, just because they are ALIVE! I know it's tough when she is the pretty much the sole bright spot in your life, but I truly think this is truly a phase. I went through it as did my siblings, and I've seen it in kid and kid after 30 years with the boy scouts.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteIt's academic, anyway, because I've woken up not feeling all that great, and won't be venturing out myself. This isn't the first time this phenomenon has occurred of late, though - I suggested our meeting up 'halfway' once I was feeling better, and she didn't want to do that, either. As I've said before, I don't consider that she owes me anything, I'd just rather the real situation was out in the open so I could behave towards her in a way she's comfortable with. And if that means a clean break, then sobeit.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B