Thursday 21 February 2013

Dreaming and difficulties

I woke, for the second time of asking, having been awake for an hour earlier, just after 9:00 this morning, from the middle of a rather odd dream. I dreamed that I was trying to buy two tickets online for a U2 gig, but before the tickets were released, I had to answer a list of impossible general knowledge questions, impossible because they related to non-existent things. I remember saying in the dream that I couldn't do it because I was too tired, just as I woke up feeling very tired. Does any of it mean anything? I doubt it somehow, but maybe my subconscious is trying to tell me some deep truth, who knows?
Of more real world concern, though, is something that might, at some point, drive a wedge between my daughter and I. I asked her last night if she would read the first part of my current story, still in draft in Nephelokokkygia, and give me her opinion. She thought it well-written, but when I asked if she would want to read more, the 'issue', or potential issue, surfaced - she said she wouldn't read it because of the subject matter. Before anyone jumps to the conclusion that I've been exposing my daughter to pornography, this story is, at least as it currently stands, and as it's currently envisaged, sexless - it's a love story, basically. But it does feature, as many of my stories do, a man and a boy. The reason I'm more generally concerned, though, is that it seems to suggest that my daughter, as, of course, is her perfect right, disapproves of what I want. As I said to her when we discussed it this morning, she's so much the centre of my universe now that I don't want to take the slightest risk that I might lose her, and if that means the subject never being raised again, then sobeit. She's been so supportive of me over the past nearly three years, way beyond anything any reasonable person could expect from someone of her age, and I would never want to try to push her further than she's able to go.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B

2 comments:

  1. I don't know much about dreams. I went through a period a few months ago of having some truly weird dreams, subject matter unimportant, but even if I would wake up, then go back to sleep after a piss, I'd pick up right where the dream left off. Then the next night, it would rewind slightly, and start up again. Like an unconscious soap opera. I dunno.

    As to your daughter...perhaps not disapproval, but perhaps embarrassment. Teenagers are always embarrassed by their parents, this just happens to be a particular subject that might embarrass her more than most. Lots of embarrassment in those sentences. I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, though I understand your thought process. In any case, it is probably harder now that her awareness of such things is much keener than it would have been three years ago. Going easy is definitely the right thing to do.

    Peace <3
    Jay

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    1. Hello Jay
      I certainly give her plenty to be embarrassed about, I guess. Like I said in the post, I can't possibly risk losing her, because then I really would be left with nothing, so whatever it takes to avoid that is the order of the day.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B

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