Wednesday, 20 February 2013

Good times, but beneath the surface....

....hurt is never far away. My daughter and I, after a leisurely start to the day (certainly on her part), spent the afternoon and evening in London, meandering about, as is our wont. Part of the objective was for her to look for a birthday present from me, and to that end we went first to Denmark Street, well known for musical instrument, and, in particular, guitar shops, before going on to Camden Market for her to look for clothes. In the event, neither visit achieved the desired end, although I did buy her a couple of books in Foyle's, perhaps the best known of London's bookshops, just across the road from Denmark Street. I'll transfer some money into her bank account so that she can choose something to her taste once she goes back home. And that's where the hurt comes in. The fact that we get on so well, that we're very often on the same wavelength, makes it so hard for me to live with the fact that I really hardly ever see her these days, a couple of days here or there rather than her being a consistent part of my life, as she was, and as she should still be. She's pretty much the only good thing left from the wreckage of my former life, so the lack of contact between us is all the more painful. Days like today, I could very easily walk away from my job, and all that goes with it, and go and find a cheap bedsit or equivalent in Cornwall, just to be near her. It wouldn't take very much at all to push me in that direction.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B


  1. I think I get it, Sammy, and I feel for you. For you, this happened sooner than it normally does (when they go off to uni, etc.). Too bad your job doesn't transfer to Cornwall, then you could have your cake and eat it, too.
    Peace <3

    1. Hello Jay
      I have been looking out for any openings that would allow me to move back to what I now consider 'home', even if only by adoption, but there are so few jobs in my line of work down there that it's far from easy. Early retirement would be a far quicker and more reliable option, but would, of course, bring its own challenges, mostly financial. Caught, not for the first time, in that limbo between listening to my head or my heart.

      Love & best wishes
      Sammy B