It's the last day of what's proven to be a week off - I could, had I chosen, have worked overtime shifts yesterday and today, but declined, partly because of the uncertainty about my ex's dad, but just as much because I simply didn't want to - and I've been out and about, as usual. I've seen a few new bits of West and North West London, not wildly exciting, but new to me, before ending up in the Wetherspoons opposite the last Greater London station on the line to 'domicile-ville', from where I'll make my way back shortly, given that I need to be up at 5:00 in the morning. The bus that I caught to get here proved to be a good pick, it being 'cutie time' while I was aboard - not only were there some very nice sights to be seen from the windows, but I spent 20 minutes with a more than passably cute boy, 12-ish, sitting beside me, and, indeed, as he was turned in his seat to talk to friends sitting behind us for much of the journey, inadvertently leaning against me. He did look my way and move on one occasion, no doubt worried that I might have been annoyed, little knowing, of course, that I was loving every minute! Yeah, I know it falls into the 'sad and desperate' category, as experiences go, but any oasis in my particular desert of solitude is welcome.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sammy, this boy was 12. I can't help but wonder, did you think this was appropriate? He was just a child.
ReplyDeleteHello Ian
DeleteThe 'soundbite' answer is that I don't think I acted inappropriately towards him, because I didn't 'act' towards him at all - my role in the scenario was entirely passive. The longer answer will form the basis of my next post.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Covering new territory. Sounds like fun!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteNew territory, in more ways than one. And another new thing, in a way, at least, to follow.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
I am not saying that you acted in anyway, but being passive, doesn't make it any more right, to not only have sexual thoughts about a child, but to actively put yourself in a situation, where you enjoyed them. Am I tripping here, or am I missing something because it seems very wrong.
ReplyDeleteHello Ian
DeleteI'm not necessarily saying that my desires are 'right' in absolute moral terms - many, if not most, people would share your perspective of 'wrongness' - but they are 'right' for me. Where they potentially become wrong is when thoughts are translated into actions. I have written about what happened, if anything can be said to have happened at all, at some length in my next post, but I still contend I did nothing but think - fantasise, if you like, but nothing more active than that. You're getting very close here, in my opinion, to Orwell's definition of 'thoughtcrime', because if my 'sexual thoughts about a child', or even my enjoyment of them, are wrong in themselves, as mental constructs, how far is that from thinking of voting for the 'wrong' political party being proscribed. Not as many steps as you think, as far as I'm concerned.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
No, there is no potentially wrong, here. I can't even begin to abide the 'right for you remark', and you have acted in appropriately, you put yourself in a position where you enjoyed the fact that a child was moving and inadvertently bumping into you. You cannot in anyway justify that behavior just because it is right for you.
ReplyDeleteYour wrong political party remark is just ludicrous and in no way are the two intertwined by their reasoning. That fact is, you are a pedophile.
Hello Ian
DeleteWe can throw pejoratives at each other as much as you like - I could just as easily say that you are a self-confessed drug addict, liar and thief. I don't need lessons in personal morality from you, I'm afraid. I'm a hebephile, as I've freely admitted before, but what you seem to have problems with, apart from the concept of free speech, is distinguishing what I am from what I do. If and when I sexually abuse a person under the age of consent (or, indeed, beyond that age), you and the world will be right to condemn me. In the meantime, I'm at least as 'moral' as you, and easily able to realise what is right, and what is wrong.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Will be interesting to see his response. I read Ian's blog, too. Taking no sides here. I try to be neutral and supportive to all, as far as I am able.
DeleteJay
Hello Jay
DeleteI always expected 'An invitation to a discussion' to entail a degree of risk, and I wasn't wrong. The price you have to pay for honesty, I guess. And I wouldn't expect you to be anything other than neutral, or, indeed, want anything else.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Sammy, you crossed the line from Hebephile when you had inappropriate contact with a child, just because he doesn't know what exactly happened, you got sexual arousal because a 12 year old boy. I won't get into a 'pre-coitus' argument with you. There is no separation between what you think and what you do, its no different than someone who purposely rubs up against men or women on the Subway, for sexual gratification.
ReplyDeleteSo forgive me, but it seems your awareness of right and wrong, is a little askew.
Hello Ian
DeleteYou are as entitled to your opinion as much as I am to mine. This wasn't frottage as you suggest - I didn't initiate the contact, nor did I do anything to encourage or accentuate it. I simply sat still, and, yes, I found it enjoyable. If you find that offensive, then that's a matter for you. The boy, for all the difference it made to him, could have been leaning against a post. And your assumption that I was sexually aroused, at least in the sense that phrase is ordinarily used, is simply wrong. This, as far as I'm concerned, was a proxy cuddle rather than 'pre-coitus'. You may disagree, but I have at least one advantage over you - I was there, while you, self-evidently, weren't.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B