Me, elucidated

You don't often come across something that opens a new window onto your personality, especially when you've only been out of bed for fifteen minutes. This post has done just that, though. So much of what was written could apply to me, almost word for word. The feeling of being 'different' - in the early days, because I was fat, when it wasn't at all common, totally non-sporting, even though I really wanted to be accomplished in that regard, especially at football and cricket, and because I was much more intelligent than almost anyone else I knew, later because of my growing realisation that I didn't feel the same way about sex and matters arising as, in my perception, everyone else did. The phases of vacillating between the three coping strategies, whether to fight, whether to hide, whether to try and be like everyone else, even if it wasn't me at all. The social phobia, the sensitivity to criticism, being caught between the impulses to lash out or to curl up in the corner and cry. And, above all, the shame and self-loathing. And the way all of these factors shape my psyche to this day.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B