Finding the energy, the motivation at the moment is a major enterprise - it's just taken me ten minutes to flog myself into walking half a dozen paces across the room to get a glass of water. I don't want to see anyone, I don't want anyone to see me, I don't, seemingly, want to do anything. It is, no doubt, a side-effect of the coughing at all hours, the fractured sleep patterns, but there's also an undercurrent of sinking beneath the waves of my wasted life. I don't want it, life, enough as things stand. I am trying to convince myself otherwise, but it hasn't worked yet. I'm off work until at least Wednesday - the next two days are my days off in any case - but whether I make it for my next rostered shift is very much in the balance at the moment. Something else I don't want enough, well paid though my job is. If there are any vacancies for hermits going at the moment, that might be my ideal role.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I do wish there would be a turning point in your health - for the better of course! It must be sheer misery feeling awful all the time. I hope you get a LOT better soon!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteThank you for your good wishes. It's doubly frustrating for me, because I've been pretty lucky with my health over the years, and because I'm an impatient patient at any time. I hope there is an end to it somewhere, but it isn't obvious when as yet.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B