Well, just for a change, I can't go through with it. The thoughts that have been roiling in my head for much of the evening need to be expressed, but I'm too much of a coward. My being introspective beyond reason isn't exactly a new phenomenon, but I'm really struggling with a specific issue at the moment. It ties in with the little post I made in Nephelokokkygia last night, prompted by my revulsion at even fictional boys being sexually coerced or mistreated, but I can't say what I want to say. because I'm too concerned about what 'they' would think. There may be limits to self-loathing, but I don't think I've plumbed those limits yet.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I hate the thought police!!! I don't know why you should self-loath. You haven't done anything wrong.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
Delete'They got me a long time ago', as O'Brien says in the book. When have to live with the relentless flood of news and opinion telling you, albeit indirectly, how disgusting you are, it's virtually impossible not to believe the propaganda, at least sometimes. Add my contempt at my own cowardice, and there you have it. As I've said before, would that I could wish myself different, but that, of course, is impossible.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B