Meltdown and remembrance. And a 'he knows not what....' moment.

Not just financial meltdown, now, but relationship meltdown thrown in. Another seriously acrimonious phone call  last night, with the renaissance of a familiar question, aimed in my direction - 'Why are we bothering to carry on?'. Why, indeed? Tomorrow is the twentieth anniversary of the day my wife and I met, November 12 1991, and I'm starting to wonder, especially given that I'm off next week, and, at least theoretically, at home for eight days, whether we'll make it to 20 years and a week.
Another, older and arguably happier remembrance this morning, though. My cousin, my darling boy, has his 11/11/11 birthday today. I remembered another birthday, 30 years ago, when he was 11 on 11/11. Then, he was beautiful, special and my best friend. Now....he's still special, and still my best friend. I'll speak to him later, all being well, and no doubt embarrass him with my memories, but, hey, isn't that what best friends are for?!
He didn't know what he was saying, or, at least, who he was saying it to - one of my work colleagues, that is, overnight. He's not long since become a father for the first time, and it appears that his partner is expecting again, which led to a little discussion about parenthood. His first child being a daughter, he'd like the new arrival to be a boy. I mentioned some of my mixed feelings about having a daughter rather than a son (although, of course, had I had a son, especially one anything like a male version of what my daughter has become, the complications might have been insurmountable) and what I might have missed out on as a result. Out of the blue, he said 'You can have Jack, if you want'. His stepson, who's 12, apparently. It was only a lighthearted throwaway, of course - he gives the impression of being quite close to the boy, even though he's not his own 'flesh and blood' - but the irony of the remark almost made me laugh out loud. If nothing else, it's an indication that my mask is still reasonably intact. Whether, ultimately, that's good or bad is a moot point.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B