The song set the tone. Just as I was thinking about ringing my cousin to pass on my birthday greetings, Planet Rock played Why Can't This Be Love by Van Halen. A blast from the past, and no mistake. When he was about 14, we were out jaunting one weekend, and found ourselves in a pizza restaurant in Huddersfield (of all the romantic locations!). The song came on the background music tape, and as I sat opposite him at our table, I looked into his eyes, and sung the song to him. At the end, he shrugged and said 'I don't know'. Of course, the reason why not is pretty obvious, with hindsight, the classic, almost clichéd 'gay boy falls for straight boy, heartache ensues' scenario, with the added twists of our being cousins and best friends, and the age difference between us, irrelevant now, as adults - he's only a year and a half younger than my wife - but a big issue back then. He remembered the day in the pizzeria, even if he didn't remember his eleventh on 11/11, and it all got a little bit emotional - I still love him, not in the same way as when he was 11, or 14, or 16, but love, all the same, and, in his own way, he still loves me, too, I think. He wants us to meet up soon - although we speak on the phone at intervals, I haven't actually seen him for nearly two years, after their proposed trip to Cornwall earlier this year fell through. I think it might well be time for me to take a trip to Manchester.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sounds like you're overdue. I hadn't seen my "favorite" cousin (for many reasons) in a very long time, almost ten years (at his mother's funeral), until my father died, and he came to the memorial service. Then a month later, we were in his hometown for the memorial for his son. I am determined that it will 1) not be 10 years before I see him again, and 2) it will not be a funeral which brings us together. Go see your cousin while there are happy times to be had!
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteI think last night's conversation has cemented the fact that we need to see each other, as you suggest - he's having a rough time himself, for reasons not too far removed from some of my issues. And because one or two things he said last night reminded me how well he knows me, which, of course, he should after 30 years and more of being my best friend, and being able to talk to someone who does know me that well, and that I know won't be judgmental, has got to be beneficial. Mutually beneficial, hopefully.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B