I seem to be embarrassingly prone to this - something, in the context I'm thinking of, totally insignificant happens, and my mind starts roiling with all kinds of fantasies. Not sexual fantasies, but fantasies of how my life could be different, of how I could make a connection with someone else. A moment's sensible reflection, though, illustrates how utterly unrealistic it all is - I'm 53, not 18, and I wasn't attractive even when I was 18. Most of the time, I can cope with my own company, now that I've had a year or so to get used to it again, but it seems that the mere idea of being in a 'relationship' is so seductive that it totally overwhelms any vestige of common sense, of what's possible. A day or two, and I'll get over it, if precedent counts for anything, and settle back into my solitary routine, and my acceptance of it. At the moment, though, the fantasy machine is still winning.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I guess we think a lot alike. My mind starts whirling like that, too, on much the same subject. Never having been in a long term relationship, it's even hard for me to imagine what it's like, but I know I'm getting old, and time is running out.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteI've calmed down over the course of the day, headed back into the more placid waters of 'reality', as predicted, I guess. In my case, given what I really want, there's even less chance of anything substantive coming about, so I undoubtedly need to remind myself of the realities of my situation on a regular basis.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B