After a few days when he's been very much on my mind, I rang my cousin yesterday, and after a bit of uncertainty about his availability, I'm going to Manchester on Saturday to see him. I'll be staying over (at a Travelodge) on Saturday night, and travelling back on Sunday. The anticipation at our reunion - I haven't seen him face to face for more than three years - has been tempered somewhat, though, after our second conversation, when I rang to confirm whether I would actually be able to see him, this morning. We were chatting about family stuff - he's been doing some genealogical research of late - when, in response to something I said about one of my other cousins (female), a link which is too convoluted to readily explain here, he used that vile 'p-word'. About me. And he didn't seem to be anything other than 100% serious - even as a joke, it would've been distinctly off-colour in the context of the conversation, but there wasn't a hint of that in what he said. I took it calmly, corrected him, told him I'd certainly admit to being a hebephile, a word he wasn't familiar with and which I had to explain to him, but, particularly after the call ended, I was pretty upset, in the sense of being downhearted and disappointed, about his remark. I think he's got the idea in his head that I've got some kind of designs on his youngest son, who's now 8, although I haven't seen the boy since he was 4, but why, I really don't know - he's got two older sons, now 20 and 18, who I had far more contact with when they were younger, and with whom there was never the remotest hint of any kind of impropriety. All I can do, I guess, is to try to reassure him, but the prospect of my relationship with the person I've loved, and considered to be my best friend, for more than 30 years being fractured by this issue is one that I find it hard to even contemplate. It could be a good weekend, if we can resolve things, but there's the possibility of it being a very traumatic one, as well.
Love & best wishes to all