K' s been away over the past weekend, visiting a friend in Surrey (but about as far away from 'domicile-ville' as you can be and still be in Surrey, and I was working lates, so I wouldn't have had the chance to meet up with her anyway). Her friend is transgender, biological male but identifying as female, a situation I've got no experience of at all. K and I spoke briefly yesterday, as she was travelling back to Cornwall, and one of the few things that was said was that she'd met her friend's family, who seemed nice. When we spoke at greater length this evening, though, it transpires that her friend's family are totally unsupportive, and insist on always using her (his) given name and exclusively male pronouns. As per the title of this post, what do they think they're going to achieve? Do they think that she's doing this as some kind of act of 'rebellion', and that if they carry on long enough, she'll see 'the error of her ways' and suddenly go back to being 'normal'? This isn't, as far as I'm concerned, any kind of choice, any more than my being a boylover is a choice. It's an expression of the person we know ourselves to be, and no amount of wishing, hoping or inappropriate pressure is ever going to change that knowledge.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
You are exactly correct, and the damage they are causing their daughter is awful. One of the things I've learned about transgendered teens is that respecting them for who they are is of utmost importance if you wish to be accepted by them! Utter disregard only means they will be driven away from the family (which might be what they hope to achieve).
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
ReplyDeleteThe situation that K's friend is in is really pretty appalling - not only is there no support at home, but her school, as I understand it, is all-male as well, so, unless she's managed somehow to remain in hiding, I can only imagine her school life is a complete nightmare as well. The only possible saving grace is that she's a couple of years older than K, and close to the end of schooldays, so that a move to uni or whatever her plans are for the next phase of life isn't too far off, and maybe a chance to be herself more easily. I certainly hope so.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B