Last day

The last full day of my holiday, we're on the last of our money, a bit of cash I squirrelled away last weekend in anticipation of the way things have gone since, possibly the last day of my wife's job, which would lead directly the end of several other things, and there are voices nagging at my mind saying it could, even should, be my last day ever. And I'm not even depressed. Just resigned to it all collapsing. I used to have a recurring dream, when I was young, it usually came if I was ill, which I could never quite pin down, but as near as I can describe it, was like being inside a room, or a building, that was collapsing. Thinking about it now, it was more like the actual fabric of space-time disintegrating around me, like the theoretical 'Big Rip' that some cosmologists say might be the way the universe will end. I feel a bit like I'm in a waking version of that dream now, just waiting for the structure of everything to collapse, and knowing there's not a single thing I can do to prevent it.
At least, if it is the end of it all, when I took my wife to the station this morning, to catch her train to what might be her fateful meeting with 'the management' in Exeter, I saw one almost perfect, super-delicious cutie on his way to school. He was only a little boy, really, around 8 or 9, but he was just so lovely to look at. The very thought of him now, as I type, is bringing tears to my eyes. For anyone who knows 'Twinergy', the pictures of 'Sasha' would be a reasonable 'lookalike', but this morning's boy was a little younger, and even prettier. If he proved to be my last ever cutie, he'd have been hard to beat.

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B