That says it all, really. It came out in conversation with my daughter about 24 hours ago, and while it wasn't necessarily something she wanted to hear, and certainly wasn't said with any deliberate intention of upsetting her, she understood what I meant. Now that she's headed back to Cornwall, the feeling has, if anything, intensified. The pointlessness of my 'new life' is something I just can't shake off, the sense of simply going through the motions. I wrote a while back about having to be able to justify yourself and your situation to yourself, to be able to function in any meaningful way, and that justification really isn't there, at least at the moment. The blankness of the view to the horizon, the oppressive all-pervasiveness of that most terrifying of words, 'never', is becoming very difficult to deal with.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
I wish I had some words to make you feel better, but all I can offer are and ear, a shoulder and a hug. And perhaps a bit of understanding.
ReplyDeletePeace <3
Jay
Hello Jay
DeleteThe things you are offering are warmly, sincerely appreciated, and valuable in themselves, just through the act of offering. The solution, if there is one given society's attitudes, has to come from my side of the fence, though. And that, I'm afraid, is where it's all falling down at the moment.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B