So....

....here I am, in 'domicile-ville', on my own on Christmas Day. Although I worked away over a couple of Christmases seven or eight years ago, when I was working in Berkshire, and was thus away from my family, this is the first time, in my whole life, that I haven't had a 'home' that I knew I could return to, if not on Christmas Day itself, then a day or two later. I could have gone to my brother's, of course, and I'm very grateful for his kind offer, but had I done so, I would've been in his home, not my own, in the sense of either parental or familial homes. How do I feel? Not as upset as I thought I would, really. I'm not quite sure why - maybe it's because I know my daughter will be here in less than 48 hours (weather permitting - it was horribly wet this morning, although less so now, and any continuation of that kind of weather might screw up her travel options on Thursday), maybe because, although I'm far from drunk, I have had enough alcohol to numb the sense of loss a little, maybe because I've got some nice food to look forward to, even if I'm only cooking myself, for myself. Maybe, even, I might be coming to terms with my new situation. Things will never be the same again, but different, even if worse, doesn't have to be the end of the world. Or, maybe, it's the calm before the storm, and it will all hit me like a tidal wave later. Who knows?
Notwithstanding my issues, I hope all of you out there are having/have had a lovely Christmas. Enjoy!

Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B