I've just spent the last half hour or so reading the first chapter of a story. One that could have easily been written by me, certainly could have been written about me. The protagonist is a boylover, going through all the agonies of self-contempt, paranoia and the deadly knowledge that most of society would happily see you dead, even though his orientation is no more of a conscious choice than being right-handed or brown-eyed, who then falls helplessly in love with an unattainable paragon - anyone see the resemblance here? I've no idea whether the story has a happy ending - there are seven more chapters I haven't read - but all this sadness destroys your faith in happy endings.
Just....torture.
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Sammy... stop reading, if it depresses you. You are not him! There are countless variables and nuances in life that turn that cart backassward...
ReplyDeleteTaking the tragedy of someone else's life to heart, and internalizing the sadness is a bad strategy. You just end up confirming your feelings of worthlessness, based on someone else's life, similar or not.
I wouldn't go there... You need to talk and relate to more positive people and outcomes... They ARE out there, believe it or not... luv, tman<3
Hello Tony
ReplyDeleteAll of what you say is perfectly correct - and I did stop reading after one chapter, because it was just too much. Rationality says there must be positive avenues I can follow, but personal experience belies that premise. Places where I could walk in and say 'I'm a boylover, and need to talk to someone about it' appear to be a bit thin on the ground.
It was just fiction, and reading is optional, so my reaction was probably a bit on the melodramatic side, anyway. I'll get over it, and carry on my merry way along the rollercoaster, no doubt.
Thank you for your support.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B
Hi Sammy;
ReplyDeleteHang in there, friend.
randy.
Hello Randy
ReplyDeleteThank you for visiting, and thank you for your comment. I'll certainly do my best.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B