I've had a very dark scenario running through my mind over the last couple of days, initially prompted by a letter we received about five minutes before I had to leave home to head back to work on Monday morning, which suggested that our creaking finances might be even worse soon. How much longer can the plates be kept spinning, was my first thought, followed by how to react if it all starts crashing down. That's where the darkness set in. I'm not going to go into detail, but I had the idea that I might find a way of fulfilling a long and cherished ambition, and then fall off of the edge of the world. I doubt I'd have the courage to go through with what I had in mind, anyway, so this post is probably all a bit irrelevant - but, then, aren't they all?
Love & best wishes to all
Sammy B
Geezz Sammy, I'm sorry to hear that... I can imagine what you're contemplating... I once thought the same thing, for other reasons... mostly related to living a life in the open, w/o shame... But then I thought of my friends and yes, my family... at least part of it, and put the idea away for a different day, which has never come... One of the things ion my head, was the idea of running ... Just the idea that I thought it necessary, made me angry. I remember thinking, 'Fuck them!' (all the haters and ignorant, opinionated big mouths) and decided I'd fight instead.
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you what to do, but it occurs to me that life is short. You are entitled to happiness. Of course, you also have responsibilities... Somewhere, between those two sentences is a solution, but, that's up to you... luv, tman<3
Hello Tony
ReplyDeleteI think, on reflection, that my sense of having a duty and responsibility to my loved ones will always win out in the end. I hope so, anyway. Thank you for your kind comment.
Love & best wishes
Sammy B